I felt alone in a crowded room. Have you ever felt that way? I was thinking today of those memories I have of feeling lonely when I was in middle school, high school, and college. I had lots of friends growing up, but I never felt like I measured up, that I was as pretty, and that I fit in quite as well as everybody else seemed to.
When I was introduced to alcohol, I became a continuously seeping volcano. The more I drank, the more destructive my self-talk. There was this "happy place" I could get to if I drank just the right amount where my problems didn't disappear (unfortunately), but I just didn't care anymore. The more I drank, I would surpass that comfort zone into an erupting volcano of depression. The very thing that was taking away the pain and discomfort was ultimately killing me.
I drank every day from my late teens until I was 42 years old with very few exceptions. In today's episode, I talk about what it was like to start going to AA. If you've ever wondered what it's like, listen to this episode.
Listen wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube!
Visit me at recoverydailypodcast.com or email me at rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com.
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