Today, I'm talking about expressing love to friends, sponsors, sponsees, and fellow survivors in recovery. When I was growing up, "I love you" was only reserved for my mom. It wasn't natural for me to say “I love you” to anyone else.
In the early days of my recovery, it felt strange, almost uncomfortable, to say it to anyone other than my husband and my kids. I remember deliberately not responding with "I love you too," hoping others would catch on and stop saying it.
The saying in my sobriety program goes, "we will love you until you can love yourself." Fine, but I didn't want anyone saying it to me. Over time, I began to feel their pain in their shares, or maybe it was that they felt mine. It took a while for me to understand the multifaceted nature of love in sobriety.
Friendships are invaluable to our growth in recovery, and yet, sometimes we hesitate to tell one another how we feel, that we love each other, and why we love each other. I can love a stranger today. I can meet someone in the communities of sobriety, stroke recovery, and those navigating life with blind/low vision or vestibular disorders, and I love them because I see in them part of myself. My words can build bridges of understanding and support between us in our recovery. It's a testament to the expansive nature of love nurtured in recovery fellowships.
