When I left my sister's on Thanksgiving afternoon, I hugged her goodbye and suddenly broke into sobbing tears. There were so many emotions tangled up in that moment. I think the love and gratitude for being around my family members all at once—something I hadn’t experienced in a year and a half—was overwhelming. And then I was exhausted, navigating my chronic condition throughout the visit, which had taken its toll.
But what I focused on after that was gratitude. If I wasn’t sober, I wouldn’t have felt any of those deep emotions. As part of my sobriety program, I had the chance to make amends to people I care about whose lives were affected by my drinking. Recently, I was reminded that making amends isn’t about how the other person responds. It’s about how I live after I’ve handed it over. Their response isn’t the focus—my response is. I focus on living out a lifelong amends.
As life keeps ticking by, I’m learning to focus on what I can control rather than what I can’t. I’m learning to live without expectations. And I’m learning that my past follows me like a shadow—until I pause and take the time to set it free.
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Visit me at recoverydailypodcast.com or email me at rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com.
#GratitudeJourney #Sobriety #LivingAmends #ThanksgivingReflection #FamilyHealing #SobrietyGratitude #LettingGoOfThePast #HealingThroughLove #FocusOnWhatMatters #ShadowToLight
