In stroke recovery I’m often sick and tired of being sick and tired. This morning’s sobriety meeting reminded me of its similarity to what it was like before I quit drinking, having that same looming depression. It leads to a breaking point of desperation where something has to change. It’s when I realize I can’t keep pushing myself alone, and I need to surrender to, well, whatever “it” is. The answer is always found in the steps of my sobriety program. Sometimes it’s just simply to do the next right thing, take a nap, or close my eyes. Sometimes my choices are what leads to the exhaustion, and other times it just happens. Either way, I’ve learned that desperation can be fuel for change if I let it.
Suffering can be the doorway to gratitude. I’ve seen it in myself, and I’ve seen it in others when their inner light begins illuminate after they surrender. Over time, gratitude lifts the joy back up in my life, even in ordinary moments or painful ones. My difficult experiences give me a deep appreciation for the life I get to live now. Suffering gives me gratitude, and gratitude surfaces my joy.
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