Today I’m reflecting on how my ambitions have evolved over the years, through my drunken delusions and into sobriety and stroke recovery. When I was drinking, I set these unrealistic goals for myself, fueled by the need for acceptance by others I admired and the desire to be great. I thought that success was being the best. Alcohol gave me the illusion that I was chasing my dreams, but I wasn’t moving forward in my life at all. I was stuck in a cycle of drinking to dream and not doing the hard work required to grow. In fact, I was filled with debilitating anxiety.
Sobriety has given me clarity to define what’s truly important in my life and for what I am willing to do the work. I still dream big, but now those dreams are grounded in reality (most of the time). I think there will always be a part of me that wants to be the best...the best podcaster, the best flea market flipper, the best puppy mama, etc. I think it makes me work harder and smarter.
I’m learning to let go of the weight of my past and focus on what I can achieve today. In recovery, I’ve found that real success comes when I show up for myself every morning, do the next right thing (even when I don't feel like it), do the hard work, and let go of what doesn’t serve me.
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