After I hit one year of sobriety, I remember thinking, “now what?” I was physically sober, so this must be as good as it gets. That was far from the truth. Physical sobriety was just the beginning. Emotional and spiritual sobriety were things I still had to grow into through consistency, daily practices, calling my sponsor, sobriety meetings, and working through storms using the steps. The idea that we just maintain our sobriety doesn’t feel quite right to me. My spiritual condition blooms when I nurture it, rather than just existing. It’s a living thing that depends on how I show up each day.
There are days in stroke recovery that I don’t want to stay. I don’t want to be connected to this chronically painful head that changed overnight. But I stay because the alternative is that I’m not here. I stay because I know I can sit in the yuckiness and trust that it won’t last forever. I stay because my tools of my recovery, my God box, my gratitude practice, my higher power, and my fellowship, help me show up consistently. Sometimes I don't feel like doing the work anymore, but I do it anyway. That “do it anyway” mentality is where the magic is. It's not always comfortable, but its growth.
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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org
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