I can accept that I have zero control over my future. There's a freedom in admitting, "Thy will be done, not mine." Yet, as I've learned, saying it is one thing; living it is another. I realized that this morning. I say this every night before I go to bed, but I don’t say it during the day. I say it to help me fall asleep, help me through the night, but I don’t say it to help me through the day.
It doesn’t matter if I think I’m in control or not. Nothing changes. I’m still here in pain. If I truly believe in a higher power, even on days I feel alone or less spiritual; my higher power's presence is the same and beyond my understanding. It's a presence that doesn't fluctuate with my circumstances or diminish with my doubts.
I’m still learning to surrender daily, to embrace life's natural flow instead of resisting it. I can’t control finding a cure or cause for my disability. All I can control are my symptoms.
Listen to this episode and consider your own relationship with control.
