In this special episode honoring Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, Michelle has a two part conversion with Gary Vogel, LMHC perinatal grief expert and founder of HEAL, a Central Florida support group for bereaved parents. Together they discuss how the loss of a child disrupts our perception of the natural order of things, what grief is and isn't, and the 3 tasks of grieving. Gary shares that the trauma associated with the sudden loss of a child qualifies many bereaved parents for the diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a part of their journey of dealing with their loss is working through that PTSD component. Because of the enormous impact perinatal loss has on a relationship, the divorce rate after the loss of a child is twice the national average. Gary explains that everyone’s journey through grief is unique to them, and couples can and do grieve differently. Understanding these differences helps prevent miscommunication and misunderstandings that can happen when one partner imposes their grieving style on the other partner. The experience of losing a child has the capacity to either tear the relationship apart or make it stronger.
"And I think one of the biggest components of that [what grief is and what grief isn't] is that most people have the thought that grieving is about death, and it is not. That is actually a fallacy. That is actually a myth. Grieving is not about death, it is about loss. ...The intensity of our grief is directly proportional to the value to us of who we lost."—Gary Vogel
About Gary Vogel, LMHC:
Gary is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and has been in private practice since 1980 in the Central Florida area. His specialties include dealing with anxiety and depression, addictions, grief & loss (especially the loss of a child), post-traumatic stress, and general "life adjustment".
As a Clinical Psychotherapist and through his own personal experience of losing his daughter, Chelsea, to stillbirth, Gary has helped thousands of parents struggling with the loss of a child.
Gary has been facilitating the support group HEAL (Helping Endure InfAnt Loss) for couples who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss since 1991. He has written three books on the subject of perinatal and neonatal loss. Gary has testified to House and Senate Subcommittees concerning legal issues surrounding these losses. He has lobbied in the state legislature for the passage of a bill to allow parents of a stillborn to receive a certificate of birth resulting in stillbirth. The bill was unanimously passed into law in 2006. He has appeared on national and local television, and have traveled across the country speaking on the unique issues experienced by parents who have incurred the loss of a child. Gary is proud to be a member of the Board of Directors for the SIDS Alliance of Florida.
Gary feels his greatest achievement is bringing the Angel of Hope to Central Florida, which hosts two ceremonies a year at our site, one on October 15th, a National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy & Infant Loss, and December 6th, a day of remembrance at all Angel of Hope sites for parents who have lost a child.
Resources:
HEAL: Helping Endure infAnt Loss Support Group
Link: Helping Endure Infant Loss (HEAL)
Central Florida and Online Baby Loss Support Resources:
https://www.birtheaseservices.com/baby-loss-grief-resources
Angel of Hope Central Florida:
Facebook: @AngelofHopeCFL
Website: https://angelofhopecfl.wordpress.com/
Connect with Michelle Smith:
Website: BirthEaseServices.com
Facebook: Birth Ease, The Birth Ease Podcast, Birth Ease Baby Loss Support
Instagram: @birtheasemichellesmith, @birtheaselossssupport
YouTube: Birth Ease
LinkedIn: Birth Ease Michelle Smith
Pinterest: Birth Ease
Show: Birth Ease
