Get ready to dive into the choppy waters of Netflix's latest rom-com, "Anyone But You," a film that takes a swing at Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing" but ends up flailing in a sea of slapstick and questionable character choices.
Join us as we follow the misadventures of Bea, a woman who spends an inordinate amount of time drying her pants in the bathroom, and Ben, a man whose mother taught him to dive but somehow neglected to teach him how to swim. Together, they navigate a series of awkward encounters, including a cookie-stealing incident that leads to an unintentional straddling session.
Along the way, we meet a cast of eccentric characters, such as Margaret, who seems allergic to clothing, and Pete, who blames his step-dad's generation for all the world's problems because apparently, it's easier to play the victim card than to take responsibility.
The film's budget seems to have been entirely spent on renting helicopters for the Harbor Rescue team, who prefer risky, expensive aerial rescues over the more practical option of using a boat. This leaves little room for logical plot points, from a random sage-burning and group charades session at dinner to a "wise sage" mom who needs two people to swim to a sailboat for a pair of sunglasses.
We'll also dive into the film's most memorable moments, like Bea's claim that Ben is "hot girl fit" despite him not doing cardio, an accidental "digital stimulation" during a hike, and a debate on whether Australia truly has the world's best coffee (spoiler alert: only Australians think so).
Amidst the chaos, Beau emerges as the film's sole redeeming factor, while Bea's commitment to reenacting Titanic leads to an overboard tumble. And let's not forget Bea's LinkedIn profile update to "it's complicated," because apparently, that's a thing now.
As the story unfolds, Pete takes it upon himself to spread rumors about Bea's law school plans, and we're subjected to quite possibly the worst wedding vows ever committed to film. The climax sees Ben, a self-proclaimed poor swimmer, leaping off a 60-foot cliff to find Bea, because apparently, cars are just too mainstream.
In the end, "Anyone But You" feels like an extended music video for Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten," leaving us wondering if perhaps it should have remained that way.
Join us as we unpack this wild ride of a film and try to make sense of its many (many) quirks. And remember, always bring a $200 crescent wrench to a knife fight—or whatever it is that Ben's mom taught him.
WARNING: There be spoilers here - we recap the whole film.
"Unwritten" © 2004 Natasha Bedingfield, Sony Music CG
