Welcome back to Dumpsterpiece Theatre, where we dive headfirst into the teenage drama pool that is "The Summer I Turned Pretty." In this episode, we witness Belly's not-so-sweet 16th birthday unfold like a slow-motion train wreck.
The festivities kick off with fancy gifts, including a pearl necklace that's totally not a metaphor for anything. Conrad, ever the brooding heartthrob, forgets Belly's gift because apparently being mysterious is more important than basic social etiquette.
Hurricane Taylor blows into town, stirring up drama faster than you can say "love quadrangle." She proceeds to make out with Steven, violating the sacred "don't hook up with your bestie's brother" rule. Meanwhile, Jeremiah channels his inner golden retriever, wagging his tail at anything that moves.
The episode culminates in a party scene that's about as awkward as a middle school dance. Belly sulks, Conrad broods (shocking), and Cam tries desperately to be relevant. Oh, and we learn that Beck is keeping a devastating secret because nothing says "summer fun" like impending tragedy.
We dissect the wooden acting, questionable plot choices, and the show's attempt to shoehorn in climate change awareness. We also take a detour to discuss Bon Iver's cabin fever-induced musical genius, because why not?
Tune in next week when we dive into Lurlene McDaniel's "Time to Let Go," where we're sure to encounter more teenage angst and probably a few more dead relatives. It's gonna be a headache-inducing good time!
