Have you ever had 99 people tell you you’re doing an amazing job, but you spend all week obsessing over the one person who said something negative?
You aren’t crazy, and you aren’t broken. You are actually dealing with something called Negativity Bias.
In this episode of Crown Straightening Sessions, we are digging into why our brains are hardwired to ignore the sunset and focus on the "lion in the grass." I’m sharing why your brain tries to trick you into feeling small and giving you practical, research-based tools to rewire your thoughts and stand in your power.
Why we focus on the bad: Understanding that your brain is trying to protect you from ancient threats (lions) that don't exist in your modern office job.
The "Truthteller" Myth: Why does that one negative comment feel like the absolute truth, while the compliments feel like lies? We explain why your brain treats criticism as a survival warning, making it feel "heavier" and more real than praise.
Cognitive Restructuring made simple: How to be the editor of your own life story and use the "Red Pen" of gratitude to cross out the lies your anxiety tells you.
Gratitude from the Inside Out: Moving beyond being thankful for your coffee. We talk about thanking yourself for your resilience, your humor, and your strength.
Why You Can't "Smoke and Swim" (The Competing Response)
Anxiety and gratitude cannot live in your brain at the same time. Think of it this way: You can’t smoke a cigarette while you are swimming underwater. It is physically impossible.
In the same way, when you force your brain to focus on gratitude (swimming), you physically stop the cycle of anxiety (smoking). It switches your nervous system from "fight or flight" to "rest and digest."
The One Negative Review
Imagine a performer gets a standing ovation from the whole room, but one person on social media calls them "overrated." Why do we believe that one person is the only one "willing to speak the truth"?
This is your survival brain lying to you. It convinces you that the threat (the critic) is the only thing that matters because it wants you to stay safe and small. We talk about how to recognize this lie and look at the probability of the threat versus the possibility.
Name the Betrayal: When you spiral, say out loud: "That is my negativity bias. That is not the whole truth."
Use a Competing Response: Find a physical object (like a pen) or a thought of gratitude to break the anxiety loop.
Inside-Out Gratitude: Write down one thing you are grateful for about who you are (e.g., "I am grateful for my own persistence").
🔗 Mentioned in this Episode:
Read the full blog post: Your Brain’s Betrayal: Fighting the Negativity Bias
Listen to the show: Crown Straightening Sessions on Spotify
Connect with Be True Counseling: www.betruecounseling.com
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Keywords: Negativity bias, high functioning anxiety, perfectionism recovery, cognitive behavioral therapy, mental health for black women, self-compassion, burnout strategies.
