Description

In this episode, I’m exploring my complicated relationship with the tiny word “should.” It slips into everyday life—“I should go on a diet,” “I shouldn’t feel this way,” “I should get more done”—and often leaves us feeling guilty or ashamed. Today, we’ll dig into the history of “should,” why it feels so heavy, and how little language tweaks—like swapping “should” for “could”—can help us be kinder to ourselves. We’ll also look at what happens when we “should” the people we love and how to create more connection instead of resentment.

Key Takeaways

• “Should” has deep roots in obligation and moral judgment, which can fuel guilt and shame.
• Notice how often it creeps into your thoughts, especially around body image or perfectionism.
• “Shoulding” your partner or friends can feel like criticism, leading to defensiveness and distance.
• Replacing “should” with “could” or “might” opens up choice and self-compassion.

Why It Matters
Ditching “should” can help you reduce guilt, ease self-criticism, and improve communication with loved ones. Think of it as a gentle mental re-set that leaves space for your real values and goals.

Next Steps

1. Pay attention to when you use “should.” (Maybe jot down some examples.)
2. Try reframing it in the moment—“I could do laundry” or “I might take a break.”
3. Notice how this changes your stress levels or helps you connect more honestly with yourself and others.

If you’re ready to explore these ideas more deeply and want personalized support:

• For worldwide coaching: Visit jacquelinerosewellness.com
• For psychotherapy in Colorado: Check out bodhitreecounselingco.com

I’d love to help you tackle those “shoulds,” clarify your values, and bring more ease into your life. Remember—change doesn’t happen overnight, but each step you take matters. Feel free to reach out and let’s keep growing together.