As we mark the start of Pride month this June, in today's episode of Speaking of Inclusion... I want to talk about the often misunderstood topic of asexuality with my fabulous guest, Aubri Lancaster. Aubri is a sex education specialist and a grey romantic asexual person who shares invaluable insights into the asexual community and its diverse experiences. We also talk a lot about pleasure, intimacy, and other human connections that influence the relationships we create, not only with other people but with ourselves too.
In this episode, we also explore the findings of Doctor Megan Carroll’s study on pleasure for asexual people, discuss the importance of recognising nonsexual intimacy, and challenge societal norms around sex and relationships.
We find our own pleasure in using a unique analogy for sex too... (that's your easter egg for this episode!) and we do this to highlight how pleasure and desire vary widely among individuals, emphasising that it's perfectly normal and valid for people to desire nonsexual forms of enjoyment and intimacy.
Here are three key takeaways from our conversation:
1. Asexuality is a sexual orientation:
We talk about the different ways asexual people experience sex and pleasure, giving a big ol' challenge to the idea that pleasure is solely linked to sexual activities.
2. Boundary and Communication:
We talk about how we believe that understanding and communicating one's boundaries and sources of pleasure is essential for fostering healthy and fulfilling relationships.
3. Non-Hierarchical Relationships:
We discuss the limitations of placing all emotional and social needs on one person and advocate for recognising the value of the diverse types of relationships are available to us all - regardless of our sexual orientation.
As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this question:
How can we better support and validate the various experiences of pleasure and intimacy that exist beyond societal expectations of sexual attraction and desire?
So, you know the drill by now - get comfortable in whichever way works best for you, and get ready for a thought-provoking conversation that promises to expand your understanding and appreciation of human intimacy and connection.
Let's talk pleasure....
Aubri Lancaster (Bri/she), BA², CSE is an AASECT and ANTE UP! Certified Sexuality Educator. As a Greyromantic Asexual, Aubri has lived experience and a connection to the Asexual and Aromantic communities that provides a unique perspective on the issues facing the changing landscape of sexuality and orientation. When not working, Aubri spends her time with her spouse, her friends, her 7 year old, and her two adorable Chihuahuas.
You can connect with Aubri here:
website: www.AceSexEducation.com
Instagram: @AceSexEducation
TikTok: @AceSexEducation
LinkedIn: @AubriLancaster
Facebook: @AubriLancasterSE
