Hi Everyone! And welcome to Talks with Dr. Shafer. I am Dr Shafer, and I am a mom, a physician, a board certified Neurologist, a musician, writer and publisher on a quest to help others on their journey of growth and improved health through storytelling. I believe in creating safe spaces to share our stories so that we can heal, grow and support one another, and create and environment where there is no need for shame. Where we meet life’s challenges with a focus on the possibilities ahead, and learn to release or work around past limitations.
Today, on Talks with Dr. Shafer, I want to talk about something that is so incredibly important for our health and happiness: I want to talk about connection.
We are literally wired for connection as human beings. Without it, our physical and our mental health suffers. Loneliness is truly a killer. Connection is a salve for life’s pain and suffering, and disconnection the cause of much of our grief.
If you isolate a person, their risk for dementia increases by half. And having poor relationships where you are either alone or lonely is associated in increased risks for stroke and heart disease. We need connections not only for our happiness, but also for our health.
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As we connect with others, we need to make sure that we are not disconnecting from ourselves. We cannot only direct our energy outwards searching for the next dopamine hit from a like, from a look, from someone’s passing praise. We cannot continue in relationships or jobs where we have to dissociate from ourselves to remain in that relationship or situation.
Sometimes we are so focused on finding external validation and connection, that we become disconnected from who we are. We spend more and more energy trying to form bonds and connections with people and things and activities that don’t serve us. Investing and buying into things that don’t align with our beliefs and values. The more we go step outside of ourselves to support something we don’t believe in, something that goes against who we are, the further we get from ourselves and our truth. The more and more disconnected we become from our true self, the more alone we feel, even when surrounded by people, even when achieving things that someone else may look at with envy or admiration. If we leave ourselves behind, the victory is lonely, no matter who may be standing beside us. Because the one person who was always supposed to be there with us, from our start to our finish, was left behind…
