In this deeply raw conversation, I sit down with Quinn Stanfield Bruce, former corporate executive turned humanness visionary, for the most vulnerable episode we've ever recorded. Quinn shares his decades-long battle with cocaine addiction. And I reveal my own work addiction that enabled my ex-husband's substance abuse.
Quinn exposes the uncomfortable truth about enablement: staying with an addict isn't love, it's codependency. I share what it's like to mix drug cocktails at 3am because you're too afraid to call an ambulance. And together we unpack why workaholism is just as destructive as substance abuse—it's just socially acceptable.
This isn't a conversation about recovery as a destination. It's about recognizing that any time you use something outside yourself to change how you feel—whether it's cocaine, work, or status—you're running from the same core wound: I am not enough.
The Core of Addiction: Why the decision to use drugs or alcohol is simply wanting to change how one feels, regardless of the substance.
The Escalation: How drug use went from early experimentation (weed) to a cocaine habit, which allowed for staying awake and creating maximum damage.
The Deadly Cocktail: The reality of co-addiction, using massive doses of sedatives like Valium to cope with stimulant use.
Enabling vs. Love: Why the only loving action for a partner of an addict in active addiction is to leave and shut the door.
Workaholism as an Addiction: The "insidious" parallel between drug use and work as a form of escapism and a void filler.
The Sneaky High: How sneaking into the office at the weekend provides an adrenaline kick and thrill similar to having an affair or taking drugs.
Self-Worth and Conditional Love: The root cause of high-performance addiction and finding worth in professional status rather than unconditional love.
The Path to Change: Being willing to change everything in life and what that first step looks like.
Quinn doesn't sugarcoat recovery. He reveals that he'd rather have been dead than continue living as a functioning addict with house, car, marriage, kids, and job intact. And I share the painful realization that my work addiction fed his cocaine addiction in a toxic codependent dance.
05:25 The brutal truth: addiction was never recreational, just a way to change how he felt.
08:16 The breaking point: realizing the rest of his life would be spent routinely taking drugs to cope.
09:39 The drug of choice: why cocaine was "amazing" compared to weed and alcohol.
12:00 The cocktail: taking up to 110 milligrams of Valium in one night to sleep.
16:27 The hard truth about leaving: why anything but walking away is enabling.
19:25 The connection: how a partner's workaholism bred codependency and guilt.
25:26 The amazing parallel: sneaking into the office felt like an affair and gave an adrenaline high.
28:03 The real dishonesty: using work to alter a state and fulfill a void.
31:28 Parenting and pride: learning to tell children you are proud of them just because.
Quinn's Work:
Humanness: Quinn helps leaders and businesses rebuild cultures with empathy, creativity, and purpose.
Show Sponsor:
CaptureBee.io: A done-for-you outreach service that books warm leads and gets you featured on leading podcasts.
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