Dear ‘Arry and Ron,
I hope this letter finds yeh well! Things 'round Hogwarts are as as wild as a bunch of maturing mandrakes in the same pot, I tell yeh. Speaking of which, Sirius Black is hot on the wormtail of that good fer nothin’ Peter Pettigrew for rattin’ out Lily and James Potter. I hear CHO CHANG has made her presence felt; ‘Arry’s stomach is likely bucking like a hacked off Hippogriff. Lastly, you two OAFS cut Hermione some slack. If she doesn’t slap ye’ both, I WILL. Gotta go, me marzipan is likely burning.
-Hagrid wuz here
