My car wouldn't start this morning. After a mass run around in a rush to get to work, anxiety of finding a carpark, all the 3D worries of the world. Everything got really heavy, so, instead of forcing myself to solve a problem (5/1 life lol) I sat in my cold lil ice box and cried for 30 minutes and let time pass. I literally blubbered and let it all out in my dead little car in the 6am darkness. I stared into space and at the sky and just LET IT HAPPEN, letting the minutes roll by.
It was pretty bleak and hopeless but also insanely cathartic to LET MYSELF just be present and depressed for 30 blubbery minutes. I reflected how much pressure I put on myself to be in certain places, put smiles on my face, keep healthy, wealthy, stealthy... and think I need to give myself a break(s) - and really embody the idea that I AM doing a good job (and that no one is mad at ME). I'm reflecting now, isn't it weird that letting myself just sit for 30mins is something I'd consider "wildly uncomfortable" - I'm "the fixer" in all aspects of my life, constantly in a state of feeling like there's not enough time.
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