Ted Cruz is a US Senator from the state of Texas who has held public office since 2013. In his free time he enjoys being told his wife is ugly and eating his own boogers. Recently he appeared on Tucker Carlson's program to answer for crimes committed against the Republican party after condemning the insurrection that took place Jan. 6, 2020, a move that garnered much criticism from the right for failing to toe the party line. Ted hopes to be cleared of all charges and to avoid being labeled a RINO, and looks forward to being a good pet for Daddy when he runs for reelection in 2024.
