Touch is one of the most essential human needs —
and yet most men are profoundly touch deprived.
In this episode, I sit down with Kenneth Darby, who has spent over 20 years exploring the world of touch, embodiment, and nervous system health through tantric-style bodywork and somatic practice.
What unfolds is one of the most honest conversations I’ve had about what men are actually carrying around touch.
We explore:
🤲 Why men are so deeply starved for touch
🚫 The fear of platonic touch between men & the fear of being perceived as homosexual
💔 How only receiving touch from a partner creates pressure & extractive energy
🔄 Why this dynamic often closes the very connection we’re craving
🧭 How difficult it is for men to answer the question: “What do I want to receive?”
🧠 Desexualizing touch & separating it from performance and outcome
🫶 Why most men were never taught how to touch their own bodies in healthy ways
📉 How hidden habits formed in isolation impact the nervous system & long-term desire
🌿 What it means to give back to the body through nourishing, non-extractive touch
🔍 The subtle ways we manipulate touch to get something instead of truly giving
I also share a deeply personal moment of realizing that when I was touching my partner’s back, I wasn’t actually touching her for her —
I was touching her because I wanted something in return.
That insight alone changed how I relate to touch forever.
We are mammals.
Touch is wired into our biology.
And when it’s missing, the nervous system suffers — quietly, deeply, and over time.
This episode offers language, clarity, and practices that every man needs to understand if he wants healthier intimacy, more grounded presence, and a more regulated nervous system.
🎧 If you’ve ever felt lonely, tense, disconnected, or unsure how to receive — this conversation is for you.
Want to Go Deeper?
If this episode stirred something in you and you’re ready to build a healthier, more nourishing relationship with your body, desire, and nervous system, I highly recommend starting with The Masturbation Manual.
It’s a practical, grounded guide for men to:
• Relearn how to touch their own bodies in ways that support long-term vitality
• Shift from extractive, compulsive habits into conscious, nourishing self-connection
• Build a foundation for stronger presence, confidence, and intimacy
• Develop practices that regulate the nervous system and expand pleasure capacity
This is where many men begin their deeper work.
👉 Get The Masturbation Manual here:
https://www.eanwood.com/manual
