Episode 8: Understanding Coercive Control
Episode Summary:
In this solo episode, Michelle Minnikin delves into one of the foundational topics of her work - coercive control. She explains how coercive control, often seen in abusive relationships and high-control environments, plays a critical role in how society conditions women to behave. Drawing from sociologist Albert Biderman’s Chart of Coercion, Michelle highlights the psychological manipulation tactics used to control women’s identities, behaviour, and self-worth through isolation, guilt, shame, and fear.
Key Themes:
- Recap of Past Episodes: Michelle revisits previous episodes where she spoke to various guests about topics like gender roles, the impacts of misogyny, ADHD, healthy masculinity, and good girl conditioning.
- What is Coercive Control?
Michelle defines coercive control as a form of manipulation that subtly but powerfully shapes a person’s behaviour. She connects the tactics of coercive control, typically seen in abusive contexts, to the societal pressures and expectations imposed on women.
- Albert Biderman’s Chart of Coercion:
Michelle introduces Biderman’s framework, explaining its origins in breaking down prisoners of war and how similar strategies are applied to control women in everyday life.
- The Hidden Tactics of Control:
Michelle covers the following methods of coercion:
- Isolation – Women are often socially isolated through competition or exclusion.
- Exhaustion – Unrealistic expectations in professional and personal spheres lead to burnout, weakening resistance.
- Threats – Fear of social exclusion or professional consequences keeps women compliant.
Reflection Exercises:
Michelle invites listeners to reflect on their experiences of isolation and manipulation in their lives and to notice when they self-censor or silence themselves.
Practical Tips:
Michelle shares actionable steps to begin dismantling coercive control:
1. Identify the Patterns – Pay attention to moments when you feel controlled or silenced.
2. Challenge Your Inner Critic – Reframe self-critical thoughts with compassion.
3. Set Boundaries – Learn to recognise feelings of resentment as a sign that your boundaries are being crossed.
Resources Mentioned:
- Biderman's Adapted Chart of Coercion -
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tms-sNY_7rPY1m19TCtiCWiuVwnZicyqYF8VVzMaM2k/edit?usp=sharing
- Good Girl Deprogramming Book – A deep dive into coercive control tactics, with exercises to help break free.
- Good Girl Quiz – Available on Michelle’s website, the quiz helps identify areas where good girl conditioning may be affecting you.
- Upcoming Episodes – Future solo episodes will explore each chapter of Michelle’s book, starting with “Establishing Trust” in the next episode.
Follow Michelle on social media:
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
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