🔹Ven Pomnyun’s Dharma Q&A
Selection from a Dharma Q&A session at Busan City Hall,Busan (June 15, 2019)
🔹Question: Hello, Sunim. I am glad that you safely returned from your trip. Thank you for taking my question. My question is related to a close relative who is the same age as me. We grew up in the same town. So, we were very close to each other when we were children. My relative is very smart and went to a very good university. But, in our later life, my relative has never been diagnosed, but we surmise that my relative probably has high functioning autism. But back in the 1970s when we were children, most people weren't aware of Asperger's disease. So, it went undiagnosed. I guess, as a result of that, my relative has suffered from social anxiety anddepression for a lot of their life. When they graduated from this very good university, they took jobs that would be viewed as underemployed. They took jobs of menial tasks and things that didn't need a college education because they provided them opportunities not to be in socially anxious situations, adata entry clerk or something like that. They did those kind of menial jobs for about 20 years. And then, over a decade ago, my relative was laid off from a job and tried to find other similar jobs for several years, but a lot of those jobs no longer exist. They tried to start a business and borrowed money from my family. At that time, it wasn't a lot of money, but we knew that it was more like a gift. So, my wife and I gave a gift to this family member, not expecting it to ever be repaid even though it was technically borrowed. None of those jobs or opportunities have worked out. So, essentially for the past 10 years, my relative has been cashing in their retirement savings and living off that retirement. I guess that savings will run out soon. I don't mind occasionally helping my family member out. But I'm not in a position where I can support them for the rest of their life. My older relatives, my aunts and uncles and myparents have been suggesting to help this person get a job or to help them figure out ways to reduce their costs that kind of thing. And it has largely been rejected and refused. The relative has not gotten a new job for over a decade as I said. But recently, they started hinting to me that they're goingto start asking my older relatives for financial help. Again, my aunts and uncles and my parents aren't in a situation... They're retired, and they don't have a I just wonder what kind of suggestion you have or, at least, insight into this situation that you could give. Thank you.
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