Introduction
Dr. Jim addresses the serious consequences of premarital sex and delves deeply into the distinction between true love and infatuation. He also provides practical guidance on navigating relationship decisions, including breaking up, engagement, and respectfully declining a date, all within a biblical framework.
Scripture Texts
Proverbs 23:7; Matthew 5:28; 1 Thessalonians 4:1-7; Hebrews 13:4; 1 Peter 3:7; 1 Corinthians 7:1; Ephesians 6:2-3; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Daniel 1:8; Romans 13:14; Proverbs 19:14; Matthew 7:12
Main Points or Ideas
- Moral Purity & Consequences: Premarital sex carries tragic, long-term consequences, including loss of purity and testimony, risk of pregnancy and STDs, guilt, shame, and hindering future healthy relationships. All physical intimacy, including holding hands, hugging, and kissing, naturally progresses and is intended by God to be fully expressed within the bounds of marriage to avoid "defrauding."
- Love vs. Infatuation: True love is defined as unselfish, self-sacrificial giving (agape), characterized by patience, kindness, humility, good manners, and forgiveness. Infatuation, conversely, is short-lived, selfish, superficial, overlooks character flaws, and drives hasty, often physical, decisions.
- Relationship Evaluation: As relationships progress (friendship, casual, special, steady), it's crucial to ask serious, honest questions about a partner's past struggles (e.g., pornography), character (e.g., honesty, temper, diligence), and alignment on life goals/ministry. Incompatibility signs include frequent arguing, recurring breakups, or one person's intent to change the other or their life direction.
- Breaking Up & Engagement: If a relationship is not right, break up quickly, face-to-face, firmly but kindly, and definitively, learning from the experience. Engagement should only occur without doubts, with adequate financial provision, and a clear understanding of God's marriage plan; keeping the engagement period short (6 months-1 year) helps guard purity. The biggest problem in marriage is selfishness.
- Gracious Rejection: When declining a date, be kind and appreciative, but firm, understanding that it's okay to say no. For those receiving rejection, it's not personal and shouldn't deter future attempts at building friendships and seeking relationships.
Conclusion
Dr. Jim highlights the tragic consequences of premarital sex and contrasts self-sacrificial love with selfish infatuation. He provides practical guidance on ending unhealthy relationships, preparing for engagement, and handling date requests biblically, affirming that God's standards lead to blessed relationships.
