In this episode of Almost Oblivious, Autumn Baker peels back the layers on what abuse often looks like in the beginning — before it becomes obvious. Instead of visible violence or control, many abusive relationships begin quietly, through subtle shifts in behavior, boundary-testing, love-bombing, and emotional manipulation. Autumn explores how “conditioning” works: shaping your sense of self, your comfort with discomfort, and your tolerance for things that don’t feel right — all while making you believe you’re loved, protected, and “lucky.”
Listeners will learn to identify early warning signs including:
The “perfect partner” act and love-bombing.
Critiques disguised as caring comments.
Small, consistent boundary tests.
Guilt banking and “favors” that become leverage.
Fast-forwarded emotional intimacy.
The “foot-in-the-door” technique: small asks leading to bigger demands.
The slow slide into justifying behavior that feels off, or minimizing discomfort.
We share how these patterns are often missed — even by people who love deeply and believe the best. She encourages listeners to trust their instincts, notice their body’s reactions, and reach out to safe people if something doesn’t feel right.
Why This Episode Matters:
Understanding early conditioning gives listeners power. Early recognition can help prevent deeper abuse. Even if you’re not currently in a relationship, this episode offers awareness — knowledge that could protect you or someone you care about in the future.
Who Should Listen:
Anyone questioning a relationship’s early dynamic.
Survivors reflecting on their past.
Friends or family who want to support a loved one.
Anyone wanting to better understand how abuse can begin subtly.
🔗 Resources:
https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Learn-the-red-flags-for-coercive-control-1.pdf?utm
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