I've been dealing with some challenges with my to-do list lately, largely around the concept of it getting way too out of control for me to handle while simultaneously feeling like my value is measured on the emptiness of that to-do list. It's as if the emptiness of the to-do list means I can sit back and be done forever, when, as a freelancer that's never going and isn't supposed to happen.
So what's really going on there for me?
Truth is, I'm not being proactive, I'm being reactive and that's why it feels terrible to have a to-do list at all. My tasks are out of control now that I haven't taken the time to make those items a priority sooner. They've moved from not urgent but important to urgent AND important. The latter illicits stop-the-presses sheer panic in every fiber of my being. So my frustration isn't with everything in my to-do list, it's with things that are:
Urgent and important - client deadlines and panic.
Urgent but not important - my panic around money.
Not urgent and not important - wasting time.
The stuff that is not urgent but important are the things that lead to proactive opportunities and are often the things that we love to do. I'm happy, the client is happy, money comes in and the cycle of reciprocity is in full swing.
How do we get there? The core concept is choice. There are typically points in our work and personal relationships in which we have choice though we claim to not have any. There was a situation 10 years ago which I could've made a choice to say no in my past relationship but for fear of losing my partner, a situation exacerbate by my complex feelings about my masculinity and nerdom, I felt I didn't have a choice and went along. Truth is, I had a choice and I made a choice. But instead of recognizing that I decided to build resentment, place blame and carried my perceived lack of choice through the relationship until its end.
In this episode I talk about Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and the concept of being proactive using his 4 quadrant time management model to better prioritize our lives and save ourselves a whole lot of heartbreak in the process. I share my story of what I'm going through today with my business, my to-do list and how that affected my past relationship. I hope you'll join me as we take the ride into proactive land!
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