Leading and Parenting with Encouragement, Not Criticism
As we navigate challenging moments—whether at home with children or at work with our teams—the way we respond shapes outcomes and relationships. Recently, I observed two scenarios that made this strikingly clear.
In one, a parent struggled to manage misbehavior, resorting to yelling and ultimatums. In another, a leader at a sales briefing focused primarily on pointing out mistakes rather than acknowledging effort. In both cases, criticism created defensiveness, reduced trust, and stifled growth.
These situations reminded me of lessons from The Courage to Be Disliked: punishment—whether through harsh words, threats, or criticism—often produces compliance at best, but rarely inspires genuine understanding, personal growth, or motivation. It erodes relationships and fosters an “us versus them” dynamic.
Encouragement, on the other hand, builds intrinsic motivation and confidence. Recognizing effort and framing guidance positively empowers people to improve while maintaining dignity and trust. Treating children, team members, or colleagues as equals—valuing their intent and potential—strengthens relationships and inspires authentic performance.
Instead of: “Eat that, or no dessert!” or “Why would you invite the wrong people?”
Consider: “I know you’re not feeling hungry, but let’s try a few bites together.” or “You did a lot of work on this visit—next time, let’s also include [specific team] to cover all bases.”
Whether leading a team or parenting, the principles are the same: encourage rather than punish, respect rather than demand, and focus on growth rather than mistakes. By fostering trust and intrinsic motivation, we empower others—and ourselves—to thrive.
#Leadership #Parenting #Encouragement #GrowthMindset #Respect #Emberhart #Parenting #GirlDad
