The Power of Quiet Presence: Why Noticing Matters More Than Praise
In both leadership and parenting, one of the most overlooked skills is how we respond to the everyday actions of others—especially those still discovering who they are.
Psychotherapist Stephen Grosz, in The Examined Life, points out a subtle but powerful truth: when we over-praise children for everyday things—like reading a book or playing the piano—we risk teaching them to seek approval rather than joy. Their actions may shift from being internally meaningful to becoming transactions for attention.
This reflection carries deep relevance beyond childhood.
We all know the feeling of doing something purely for the love of it—until someone watches and praises us. Suddenly, we may start repeating that action, not because we enjoy it, but because it gets a reaction. Over time, this can quietly erode intrinsic motivation and create a mindset where external validation drives choices.
What if we did less praising and more noticing?
Instead of saying, “Good job,” we might say, “I see you used a lot of blue in your drawing.” It shows presence. It honors the process rather than evaluating the outcome. It tells someone—child or colleague—“This matters, and so do you,” without making it about approval.
🔍https://www.emberhart.com/the-value-of-subtle-joy-being-present-matters-most/
Being present and attentive, without judgment, helps foster internal motivation and builds self-trust. It reminds us that meaningful work—and play—does not always need applause.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can offer is quiet attention.
#IntrinsicMotivation #LeadershipDevelopment #ParentingWisdom #EmotionalIntelligence #HumanCenteredGrowth #EmberhartJourney #PurposeDrivenLife #GirlDad
