Join Liz Kent on this episode of The Thriving Mompreneur as she chats with Lianna Purvis, a therapist and parenting coach specializing in supporting parents of neurodivergent children.
Lianna sheds light on why meltdowns often seem to "come out of nowhere" for neurodivergent kids, explaining the concept of a "slow burn" of sensory and emotional buildup. She offers practical, proactive strategies for identifying triggers, helping kids decompress, and fostering open communication. This episode is a must-listen for any parent looking to understand and reduce meltdowns while strengthening their family dynamics.
Key Takeaways
Meltdowns are often a "slow burn," not sudden: For many neurodivergent children, meltdowns are the culmination of a gradual buildup of stress and sensory overload throughout the day, even if they appear to come out of nowhere to adults.
Parents are the experts on their child: You already possess valuable insights into your child's triggers and needs. The key is to organize this information and use it proactively to prevent meltdowns.
Proactive decompression is crucial: After a stimulating environment like school, neurodivergent kids often need immediate, unstructured downtime in a safe space to regulate their nervous systems. Observe what your child naturally does to calm down and facilitate that.
Separate feelings from behavior: It's essential to validate your child's feelings while still setting clear boundaries for unacceptable behaviors. Work with them to find healthy ways to express intense emotions.
Progress is non-linear and imperfect: Implementing new strategies takes time and will have bumps along the way. Focus on reducing the frequency and intensity of meltdowns rather than aiming for complete elimination, and remember that it's okay for both parents and children to make mistakes.
Quotes From the Episode
"For a lot of neurodivergent kids, it's often a really slow burn. So even though for us as adults, it absolutely seems like it's coming completely out of nowhere, for the kids, it's actually a buildup over time of a lot of stuff stressing them out and building up in their nervous systems."
"As a parent, you are the expert on your child and you know what sets them off, what they don't like, what they do like, their tolerance for certain things, their stamina for certain things."
"If your child is like naturally wanting to kind of hide in the closet in the dark and to do their own thing for a little while, that's really good information to have."
"We never want to punish feelings. Feelings are always okay. Feelings are always valid. And so we wanna validate that piece while at the same time redirecting certain behaviors that we know we don't want."
"You're not a bad parent because your kid had a meltdown. Like that's just what's going to happen. But, you know, what we can do is work on some strategies to change things up a little bit so that we can reduce how often those things happen."
Resources Mentioned
Host Liz Kent
Instagram: @LizKentCoaching
Website: https://www.lizkentcoaching.com/
Facebook Group: The Thriving Mompreneur Collective
Guest Lianna Purjes
Therapy website: https://www.fuzzysockstherapy.com/
Coaching website: https://coachingwithlianna.com/
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