Ever been praised for being “the total package”— beautiful, successful, easygoing—only to be ghosted the moment you show emotion or vulnerability? In this powerful episode, Christina Hathaway, marriage and family therapist and dating expert, breaks down the Dream Girl Wound— the pattern where high-achieving women are idolized for being perfect but abandoned when they act human.
If you’ve felt like love only comes when you’re "on" and performing, this episode is for you. Christina explores the origins of this pattern, the pain it creates, and most importantly, how to heal from it so you can build real connection without hiding your truth. Listen now!
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Timestamps:
00:00 – Welcome to Dating Deja Vu
00:11 – Are you always "the dream girl" until you show emotion?
01:13 – The roots: Internal Family Systems & the protector role
02:14 – What the dream girl archetype looks like in relationships
03:29 – The moment vulnerability enters: and they vanish
04:32 – Childhood roots: praised for perfection, not humanity
05:32 – Showing up fully — and how that becomes a performance
06:46 – Why letting your guard down feels like a gamble
08:29 – The dopamine hit of love bombing vs. the pain of being real
09:10 – Client story: praised, then dismissed for asking for consistency
10:14 – #Step 1: Let go of the idea that love must be earned through perfection
11:29 – #Step 2: Let your authenticity, vulnerability, and messy side show
11:55 – #Step 3: Reconnect to your self-worth (beyond your image or performance)
13:17 – #Step 4: Learn to disappoint people who only want the highlight reel
13:47 – Doing the deeper work: parts work, compassion, curiosity
15:13 – Use authenticity to screen for emotional maturity
16:46 – Dream girl ≠ whole girl — own your full self
17:36 – Even the most “perfect” women feel insecure
18:05 – Share your story + how to work with Christina
18:35 – Follow & subscribe on all platforms
18:54 – Outro
