đď¸ Podcast Show Notes
Episode 008: âFinding Your TRIBE and ALLIES â For Menâ
In this powerful episode of Coffee and Conversations for MEN, Jay and Brian dive into a topic that hits close to home for many menâespecially as they age: How do we find our tribe? How do we build meaningful, trustworthy connections with other men in a world that often discourages vulnerability and emotional brotherhood?
Through the lens of the Five PillarsâFitness, Nutrition, Mental Health, Relationships, and Lifelong Learningâthis episode offers insight, real stories, and strategies for finding your people and cultivating lasting brotherhood.
If youâve ever felt like youâre doing life solo, or if youâre cravingdeeper, more authentic male friendshipsâthis episode is for you.
đŻ Episode Highlights
00:00 â Overview
01:02 â The Why03:17 â Whatâs in Your Cup? 04:24 â Fitness: Brotherhood Through Movement
Physical activity isnât just about strengthâitâs about solidarity. Men bond shoulder-to-shoulder, and movement creates space for trust and openness. From hiking clubs to pickup basketball, building your tribe might start with lacing up your shoes.
13:33 â Nutrition: Sharing Meals, Sharing Life
Breaking bread is ancient. From potluck dinners to trying new ingredients, food becomes a space for vulnerability, laughter, and community among men.
19:48â Mental Health: Strength Through Shared Struggle
You donât need to âman upââyou need to âman together.â Discover how shared experiences, gym nights, and community play spaces foster emotional connection, especially for single fathers and isolated men.
29:13â Relationships: Brotherhood Beyond Bloodlines
Jay and Brian share powerful stories of male influence. Legacy lives in how we treat each other, and connection can come from shared values, not just shared DNA.
39:00 â Lifelong Learning: Growth That Gathers Men Together
Whether itâs reading a new book, learning a skill, or simply staying curious, personal growth creates connection. When men learn together, they grow togetherâand build community that lasts.
â Whatâs in Your Cup?Jayâs Cup. 8bitbeans https://www.8bitbeans.com/(Shell Shocked)
 Brianâs Cup Kicking Horse Coffee (ThreeSisters) https://kickinghorsecoffee.com/collections/coffee
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đ References & Mentions:
FITNESS:Torres, Z., TomĂĄs, J.M., Sentandreu-Maùó, T., FernĂĄndez, I., & Pla-Sanz, N. (2024). Social participation, loneliness, and physical inactivity over time: Evidence from SHARE. International Psychogeriatrics, 36(9), 799â807. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1041610224000504
NUTRITION:Dunbar, R. I. M. (2017). Breaking bread: The functions of social eating. Adaptive Human Behavior and Physiology, 3(3), 198â211. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40750-017-0061-4
MENTAL HEALTH:Kimmel, M. (2010). Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men
RELATIONSHIPS:
Putnam, R. D. (2000). Bowling alone: The collapse and revival of American community.Simon & Schuster.
Junger, S. (2016). Tribe: On homecoming and belonging. Twelve.
Ellemers, Naomi & Stam, Daan & de Gilder, Dick. (2013). FeelingIncluded and Valued: How Perceived Respect Affects Positive Team Identity and Willingness to Invest in the Team. British Journal of Management. 24. 10.1111/j.1467-8551.2011.00784.x.
LIFELONG LEARNING:
Ellemers, Naomi & Stam, Daan & de Gilder, Dick. (2013). FeelingIncluded and Valued: How Perceived Respect Affects Positive Team Identity and Willingness to Invest in the Team. British Journal of Management. 24. 10.1111/j.1467-8551.2011.00784.x.
Stay strong. Stay curious. Stay connected.
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