This week we get candid about one of the most overlooked relationship dynamics, what it's actually like when a woman is going through menopause and her partner is trying to keep up. Having been through it with two partners, Kev is something of an accidental expert and this episode is an honest, warm and sometimes hilarious look at what that journey really involves for both sides.
Key Takeaways
· Menopause is technically one single day, 12 months after your last period. Everything else is peri or post, and post-menopause can last decades.
· HRT can be life-changing but getting the balance right takes time. Oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone all play a role and the combination matters enormously.
· Symptoms are not always obvious as menopausal. UTIs, anxiety, heart palpitations, poor sleep and mood swings can easily be mistaken for stress or personality.
· Men who educate themselves make a tangible difference. Kev's prior experience meant he recognised the signs, suggested HRT and coached Jo through the worst of it without shame or blame.
· Feeling chosen and emotionally safe allowed Jo to open up about what she was going through. Security matters as much as knowledge.
· Only 26% of men in a recent survey attributed their partner's symptoms to menopause rather than ageing. 11% did nothing at all.
· The responsibility should not fall entirely on women to explain what is happening to them.
Timestamps
00:09 Introduction and what menopause actually is
01:30 What we learned from a previous relationship going through menopause and HRT 03:30 Weight gain, libido, mood swings and separating stress from symptoms
05:00 Was she able to voice what was happening?
06:00 How Jo felt entering the relationship post-menopausal and low in confidence
07:45 The emotional chaos of menopause and not knowing who you are 09:00 The catfishing incident and the rocky early months
10:30 The blind date in Covent Garden and the moment a choice was made
12:30 How that moment changed what Jo felt able to share
14:00 Jo's symptoms: UTIs, palpitations, anxiety and sleep disruption
15:30 Suggesting HRT and why prior experience made that possible
17:00 The driveway tantrum, the forgotten laptop and two weeks off the patch
19:00 A previous relationship stops being a threat and becomes a gift
21:00 What changed after HRT: confidence, mood, sleep and playfulness
23:00 Louise Newson's 10 tips for partners and how we had already lived them
27:00 What men get wrong about menopause
28:30 The MATE survey and some sobering stats on men's attitudes and inaction
30:00 Why post-menopause is a long road and can actually be great
Louise Newson https://www.newsonhealth.co.uk/
MATE Mens attitude to menopause https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31188286/
