This episode came from a season where everything just felt… full.
Calving, sickness in the house, the boys starting football, in-laws away, building Back to Herself in the background. Nothing unusual on its own, but all sitting together at once. And in that, I started noticing something I think a lot of women experience, but don’t always name.
How responsibility doesn’t just sit in your life… it slowly becomes your life.
From the outside, it often looks like everything is working. You’re showing up, getting things done, holding everything together. People tell you you’re doing well, that you handle so much, that you make it look easy. And maybe part of you believes that, because you are doing it.
But underneath that, there can be a quieter realisation.
That your life has slowly become a list of roles and responsibilities. Mum. Partner. Farmer. Worker. Community member. The one who remembers everything. The one who manages everything.
And somewhere in that… the person underneath gets quieter.
In this episode, I talk through the moment I first really saw this in myself, sitting in a leadership program where I was asked to describe who I was outside of my roles… and realised I couldn’t. I share how becoming the stay-at-home parent led to a natural progression of taking on more and more responsibility over time, how I became the “default person” for everything in our family, and how that role, while necessary and even valuable, slowly became the framework I lived inside.
We also explore the idea of an “identity state” — the roles and stories we create about who we are, and how over time, they can become so fixed that stepping outside of them feels uncomfortable, or even a bit scary.
This isn’t just about motherhood. This can happen in any area of life. On the farm, in a job, in community roles. Anywhere responsibility keeps building without you really noticing… until one day it feels like too much, or like there’s no space left for you.
This episode isn’t about fixing that.
It’s about recognising it.
Because often, this is the point where things start to shift.
If this episode felt familiar, if you found yourself in parts of it, this is exactly the space that Back to Herself is designed for.
It’s not about walking away from your responsibilities or becoming someone new. It’s about creating space to reconnect with who you are underneath all of it, and starting to shift your life in a way that includes you again.
Spots are limited, and women on the waitlist will receive access to a special discount when doors open.
Contact Jess
Instagram @thejess.knight
