Growing up, and indeed throughout my life, I attended weekly classes in public speaking. As a female in the organization I belonged to, I wasn't allowed to take on 'teaching' roles, which involved standing and speaking solo. However, women were permitted to handle subsidiary parts (patriarchy at its finest), and, particularly as a youth, I loved those assignments.
The pulling together of information, turning it into a natural sounding conversation starting with a captivating introduction, and hoping to, in some way or other encourage, uplift or inspire the audience (even though to have verbalized it like that back then, I’d have feared sounding woefully convoluted) was something I excelled in.
Much like Toastmasters, these speaking assignments came with feedback. There would be things commended and something to work on. The consistent advice for me?
Pausing. Always pausing.
It wasn't just nerves; it was my eagerness to pack in too much material within the allotted time. I would rush through, missing the impact of a well-placed pause.
Take a Pause
In this moment, pause. Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Feels good, doesn't it? Notice your body - any tension, tightness in those shoulders, neck, jaw? Pausing, even for a moment, grounds us, centers our energy, and reclaims our power.
How does this relate to putting our voice into the world?
In exactly the same way.
We are more grounded. We’ll be more poised in our message and this makes our voice and communication more powerful.
Silence Speaks Volumes
Recently, before a speech, I failed to take a moment to pause. Make no mistake, this impacts the whole affair. Think about it. Subconsciously, when you see a speaker who takes a deliberate moment to pause, perhaps check the mic, and take a breath, it exudes confidence and authority (even if they are not feeling those things).
When To Pause?
After a joke. Give the audience time to laugh and circle back their attention to you.
After a powerful point or quote. Allowing it to sink in for a moment adds impact.
After asking a question. Gift your audience time to ponder on what you have just asked.
But How?
The things is, how to do that when nerves are jangling and we are rushing through like it’s some sort of SAS operation - wanting to get in, get the job done and get out?
👉🏻In the hours leading up to a speech set your alarm each hour and for 60 seconds or two minutes practice coming back to breath. Focus on a sound and keep coming back to that sound, or the sound of your breath.
If you are unable to close your eyes, focus on something in front of you, what is the colour, texture, shape, keep gently bringing yourself back to that focus.
Why is this important before even giving a speech, surely the important thing is whether you can deliver the pause in the speech?
Well, these mindfulness practices regulate the nervous system. I’ve gone into speeches without taking the time in the hours beforehand to pause, ground and center myself, and I’ve noted a huge difference.
👉🏻Try a guided breath-work meditation too - I’ll pop a link to two of my favourites below.
Economy of Words, Breathing Room
On a practical level, practice, practice, practice and do so with a timer, allowing time for pauses. If you are struggling to stay on time or feel there’s no room for those all important pauses, get economical with words, sentences and stories. What’s superfluous to requirements? What could be taken out? By doing this you are leaving yourself plenty of breathing room - quite literally.
One well placed pause can offer more power, punch and import than several quotes, jokes or anecdotes.
If nerves hinder your ability to pause, practice counting your inhale and exhale.. Focus on counting (silently) and let your mind ease into the rhythm. The count forces your mind off any awkwardness and simultaneously allows you to breathe.
Hello Heart, Hello World
Say hello to your heart. Literally, say “Hello Heart!”. I love this expression. I’ve started using it in my meditations. It gently drops me from my mind and into the body whilst also enabling me to remember that it is from there that I desire to speak from and to.
This goes for everyday interactions too. Before posting a comment online, for example, say hello to your heart. This can aid us to question what is my intention here? Am I merely wanting to espouse knowledge and opinion or will this comment breathe out peace into the world.
In Conclusion: The Art of Silence
Claude Debussy said: Music is the space between the notes.
And so too with impactful speaking. There’s tremendous power in the space between the words.
So, the next time you stand before an audience, type out a comment or put your voice out into the world, remember the art of the silence.
In that pause, you'll find your strength, your voice, and the essence of authentic communication.
Pausing isn't just about catching your breath; it's about reclaiming your power.
And Pause.
Until next time, remember to pause, breathe. Ahhhhhhhh. Exhaaaaaale.
With Love and Warmth,
Suzy
PS. As promised, links to two of my favourite breath-work meditations:
Dr Joe Dispenza
When you subscribe you can now receive two free gifts from yours truly. A wee meditation and free pdf poster! I know, I know, I’m excited too. It’s only taken me 12 months to sort out my welcome email! 😁
Armed with innate communication skills, 42 years worth of public speaking classes, and, latterly, certifications in personal performance coaching and Neuro-Linguistic Programming, I'm here to help you elevate your public speaking abilities.
I'm especially passionate about helping individuals speak authentically from the heart and navigate public speaking after much suppression of self.
For further information and if you’ve any questions, by all means reach out:
suzy_exhales@outlook.com
