Often, I find I am called to take a break from everything and then out of no where have a gust of energy, a need to do everything all at once and I love this because it is a constant reminder of my humanness.
I honour everyday, that I am not supposed to follow a crowd or do things in any which way, sometimes there is succinct flow and other times, there is a revolting door of continuous change.
I do not believe we are to remain the same or in the same places, I feel change is a sign of growth and if you are brave and have courage you can adapt to change, no matter how hard, without resistance. You can become wise enough and in tune enough to know, without over extending time in the wrong places, that you are being pointed in a different direction.
Often the feeling of togetherness can keep us resisting change and resisting progress and this can become a sign of us being of disservice to ourselves, ignoring our intuition and dishonouring life’s flow.
We can often trap ourselves in places and experiences that we have seen time and time again, as they are, they are not working and I believe often this happens because we are caught up in narratives that are not our own, we are admiring from the outside stories we have seen from others and tales that allude us to fantasise/idolise a story that is not our own.
True freedom comes from not forcing but truly flowing with life.
No performance necessary. Just genuinity from the outset, that’s how you build true connection, no mask, no games, no net to catch something or anything, we are destined to let go of.
And so as I give myself permission to flow with life and not force, the obstacles that were never mine to own, slowly dissolve and I find myself coming back to myself more than ever.
Much of my journey required me to be on the go constantly and there were very few occasions when I was able to come up for air and then I stopped because I had to, on multiple occassion actually and probably not even by choice just the body needing to breakdown and the mind needing to be free of thought which eventually led me to take a real moment to myself, look around and whilst still persevering recognise that I have a choice to make regarding how I intend to move forward, who I intend to be and how I intend to show up.
The old ways, habits etc hadn’t worked for a long time and yet they were so engrained and the last remnants of something to cling to but costly and harmful and so I had to decide for once can I choose me?
For once can I acknowledge myself and all I have faced and admit I want to move forward differently.
Can I release any/all guilt and shame for not wanting to remain the same or hold my hand out in the ways I have done and for once can I see my truth and accept who I actually am. Accept what I’ve been through without looking the other way and for once hold my self with gentleness?
I’m writing this today to anyone who comes across my writing and is in a place of struggle and can’t see the light of the end of the tunnel but knows it’s there. The advice I share which frustrates me, is that the option of most importance is that you keep on going; you can slow down, you can pivot, you can try and try again and undoubtably you must rest but giving up on yourself no matter how appealing it may feel, is not an option because there is light sat the end of the tunnel and it starts with you choosing yourself.
I believe with all of my heart that what is for you will always be for you and at your core your dreams and visions will always keep calling until fulfilled.
You may forget,
life will happen,
you may become distracted,
you will fall out of alignment,
you may get caught up in stories that feel familiar but are not your stories at all and the truth is these occurrences are all ok.
Know this, you deserve to tap into your greatness. You deserve to know yourself and love yourself truly for who you are and you deserve the chance to embrace your journey without feeling as though you have to partake in narratives that just do not feel home to you.
It’s ok and important to do things differently.
It’s ok and important to pave your own path, ride your own wave and shape your own lane whilst being yourself.
And no matter what you come up against, with time and effort on your part, you shall and you will overcome.
I now understand healing to mean learning to release the pain associated with traumatic memories whereas before maybe I saw healing as a wound that needed patching up, a brokenness that couldn’t be mended. I recognise the things that were sent to break me merely left invisible scars and what keeps the scars alive is the pain associated with them.
This pain is very real and not to be dismissed but to be felt through. To find clarity for yourself and relinquish the need to blame you.
You are powerful because you refuse to allow the pain to consume you instead you face the pain head on and battle with the aftermath of wars waged upon you by those who you have loved most and look at that, you are still alive.
You survived and life looks very different now.
You can do anything.
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!
Whilst I write this to everyone, I know in my heart I write to me, to serve as a reminder to keep on going and to keep believing in all that I can be.
Sending light & love, ALWAYS.
And Remember: “To Love Thyself Would Be An Awfully BIG Adventure.” Lahayla Dahlia Lore - SLLS365
