State of mind.
Let’s relax for a moment. Imagine that you’re reading this on a white sandy beach. The sun is shining, the slight breeze coming off the water is just enough to keep you comfortable. Your muscles are relaxed and your mind is at ease.
You look out at the water. Crystal blue water in a quiet cove. A lagoon that you’ve only seen in movies and your imagination. The sky has a few tracing clouds moving at such a calming pace you feel like you could just drift away with them.
You curl your toes in the soft white sand, feeling it between your toes, giving yourself a natural foot massage. The waves lap the shore ever so gently, taking your stress away to the depths of the sea with each pass. You don’t even have to close your eyes to imagine it. The natural ebb and flow are seamless.
Without warning, it starts to rain. Pelting cold rain coming from behind you. The peaceful lagoon turns into a torrent of waves. Crashing the shore. The temperature drops forty degrees. You get up. Run for shelter. Your feet landing on every seashell along the way.
You look back. The lagoon has taken your spot. The sky is dark. The sun has been swallowed. Menacing, lightning-filled clouds above. Thunder shakes your very bones. You find yourself in the midst of a hurricane.
I know, not the best image to have in mind. Sure, it started out nice. How did it make you feel? Comfortable? Relaxed? Stressless? Then what happened? The scene changed from tranquility to terror. You were no longer relaxed, comfortable, and far from stress-free.
The state of mind that we put ourselves into, or allow others to put us into, affects our physical being. It has the capacity to cripple us where we are or catapult us to where we want to be.
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Thoughts can cripple.
If you have any kind of phobia, you know how bad it can get. For me, I’m acrophobic. I don’t like heights. Even looking up at a tall building or playing a video game where my character is on a cliff can activate my fear. My heart races, my breathing becomes rapid and shallow. My eyes dilate. My whole body becomes tense. I’m not up there, but my mind puts me there and my body reacts.
There are hundreds if not thousands of phobias. There are countless things that we can be afraid of. Sometimes the fear is small or singular. Like the neighbor’s cat that, for whatever reason, scares the hell out of you. Some fears are larger, like claustrophobia. Some fears come from our personal experiences and others just seem to manifest for no reason.
My fear of heights didn’t start until my early twenties. Before then, I would climb trees, get on rooftops, climb on ladders, and have no problems with roller coasters. One day I was climbing a ladder and suddenly I was afraid. There was no logic behind it but the fear was there just the same. Now, whenever I think about high places, my body reacts to the fear.
Thoughts can catapult.
Being acrophobic, the idea of being catapulted by anything is a scary thought. So, to keep my physical reactions in check, I’ll focus on the metaphorical catapult.
Let’s take the vision of starting your own business. Perhaps you are looking at becoming a life coach with a specialized niche. It’s early in the process so you’re doing a lot of research. You’ve taken courses by Robbins-Madanes, Bob Proctor, or any number of life coach experts. You have a notebook or two full of wise words, tidbits you’ve picked up, study aids, and ideas for your own business.
You’ve pictured yourself where you want to be in a year’s time and you’ve launched your business. You have focus points hanging on your wall, on your phone, and on your desktop. You keep that vision alive when you go to sleep and it’s the first thing you see when you wake up. You know your circumstances don’t match the vision yet, but you truly believe you will be there when the time comes.
You stay in a constant state of readiness. Studying, reaching out to people, practicing your conversations in the mirror. You know that the best way to help other people is to get past those very obstacles you want to help them get past.
Time passes by and before you realize it, you’ve got clients. You’re helping people and you’re starting to earn some money from it. You continue with your mind on your goal. Your thoughts on what will be. You feel the joy of accomplishment with every meeting. You learn more about yourself and how you can help your clients. Your business grows.
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Finding a balance.
Reality. Ugh. Probably the most bitter-tasting word in the English language. Not because reality itself is so bad, though it might be, but because of the implication it has. As though having a dream isn’t part of reality. Like having a goal is merely a fantasy.
People have told you to face reality. You’re struggling because ‘reality’ is telling you that you’re not good enough or you don’t deserve your dreams. Reality can be a slap in the face for anyone who is working towards their goals.
Your dream. Your goal. Your reality.
Thomas Edison’s reality was a world where electricity was harnessed in the form of light bulbs. Lewis Latimer’s reality was a more productive filament for those lightbulbs. Walt Disney’s reality was Disneyworld.
Their reality existed long before the rest of the world experienced them. The same is true for your goals, your dream, and your reality. Not because you ignore the setbacks. Everyone has setbacks and they address them. They found things that worked and things that didn’t. They learned, improved, and faced the reality of others with the determination that their reality will become everyone else’s reality as well.
Imagine if the reality of the times kept Edison from his reality. Our world would be very different. What if Latimer decided that the filament created by Alexander Lodygin was good enough? What if you decide that your dreams should remain dreams?
Reality can be harsh, but it can also be inspiring. When you look at your vision of your future, how does it make you feel? Pretty good doesn’t it? When you put yourself in that reality your entire perspective changes. Like being on that beach by the lagoon.
Knowing that there are going to be storms, you can prepare yourself. You can brace your mind for the setbacks that will come. You don’t ignore the fact that things will become difficult or that you will fail. You prepare for them and adjust your strategy. You don’t erase your reality because someone else doesn’t see it yet.
Thoughts lead to success.
I still climb ladders and get on rooves. I don’t let my fear cripple me (most of the time), but I know my limitations. I don’t hang out by the edge. I control my actions by reminding myself of what I can and cannot do.
The same is true for realizing your vision — your reality. Know your limitations but work to overcome them. Remind yourself of what you already know. You can do this. You have your goal for a reason and you will accomplish it. It will take time. It will take focus. It will take determination.
The stronger your vision, the more detailed your goal, the more real it becomes. Your fear won’t overpower you. Your determination will drive you. Your focus will lead you. Your reality will become a reality that others will see as clearly as you see it now.
Micheal D. Woodruff, Author of “Dismantling the Stigmas: 10 Truths about ADHD”.
As a late-diagnosed neurodivergent, Micheal has had to come face to face with the realities, difficulties, and advantages that are related to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He is certified in Unlocking Your Potential with ADHD. He also hosts the podcast “The Eclectic Writer” available on Spotify, Audible, Amazon Music, YouTube music, and many more places.
