How to break the cycle
Seek God’s input on the matter
How does He feel about what you’ve done?
How does He feel for the other person?
Listen!!
Understand where the hurts go and be mindful/loving with that knowledge
Avoid directing anger/fear AT the other person
Try not to have your guilt/self condemnation cloud the truth
What are their hurts, what needs were not met or taken from them?
How do you like that need to be met?
How can you meet their need while your need(s) are also met?
Realize that meeting another’s needs is loving them
Be aware of your and their emotional needs (as compared to the hurts)?
Commit to being OHV
Be very careful if THIS has been a problem
If both people are not committed to this, many future hurts will be created
Heal all hurts
Outside - Heal old wounds
Attach comfort one on one
Have others comfort if needed
Seek outside counsel in navigating this if neccesary
Inside - Confess, Understand, Forgive
Seek WISE counsel
An outside perspective is valuable
Do not seek an echo chamber
Do not simply vent/gossip/disrespect
What’s next?
Replace bad patterns with good
Regular check-ins in regards to needs and hurts
Spending time building the relationship outside of needs and conflict
Allow for grace within the relationship
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