Most men aren’t taught how to grieve. They’re taught how to hold it together.
Get up. Go to work. Handle your responsibilities.
Don’t fall apart. And absolutely don’t make it anyone else’s problem.
In this episode, Jason sits down with Tom Golden, a therapist who’s spent decades working almost exclusively with grieving men, to talk about what actually happens to men after a major loss.
And why so many guys feel like they’re doing grief “wrong” when they’re not.
This isn’t a conversation about sitting on a couch and talking about your feelings.
It’s about why men tend to grieve through action, work, thinking, building, fixing, or being alone, and how that can either help you heal or quietly wreck you if you’re not paying attention.
In this episode, we talk about:
• Why most grief advice wasn’t built with men in mind
• Why silence doesn’t mean you don’t care
• How staying busy can help, and how it can become a way to hide
• The pressure men feel to look strong even when they’re falling apart
• Why asking for “help” feels weak, awkward, or flat-out wrong
• What healthy action looks like, and how to tell when you’re lying to yourself
• Why grief comes in waves and why “back to square one” is bullshit
• How men actually support each other when it’s real
• What to do if you love a grieving man and don’t know how to reach him
Tom shares stories from real men who found ways to carry their loss without numbing out or blowing their lives up — not by talking more, but by doing things that actually meant something.
If you’re a man who’s been hit by loss and feels off, flat, angry, tired, or disconnected, you’re not broken.
You might just be trying to carry something that was never explained to you.
And if you care about a man who’s grieving, this conversation may help you stop misreading what you’re seeing.
No clichés. No “man up” bullshit. No pressure to be someone you’re not.
Just an honest conversation about how men actually deal with loss, and what helps instead of hurts.
Here’s where to find more of Tom’s work:
Tom’s Substack:
Understanding Masculine Psychology:
BOOKS
The Way Men Heal https://amzn.to/4qIx9Aa
Swallowed by a Snake https://amzn.to/2mGdmkm
Helping Mothers be Closer to Their Sons https://amzn.to/45FfGQM
