Most men think resilience means staying tough. Pushing through. Holding it together no matter what.
But what if that’s not resilience at all?
Professor Jo Clarke has spent over two decades working in some of the toughest environments imaginable—the British prison system. She’s seen what trauma does to people, and she’s helped countless men learn to thrive after it. Then life tested everything she knew.
Her foster daughter Hope was diagnosed with cancer at 19. Her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s the same day. Hope died at 22.
This conversation isn’t about theory. It’s about what happens when the person who teaches resilience has to live it.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re supposed to keep it together when you’re falling apart, this one’s for you.
Takeaways
* Resilience isn’t toughness. It’s skill, self-awareness, and connection.
* Asking for help is strength. Doing it alone is self-destruction.
* Real men don’t power through pain. They face it and grow from it.
Listen if you want to
* Redefine what strength means for you.
* Learn how to handle pain without losing yourself.
* Understand why thriving isn’t about “getting over it.”
Key Moments
00:01 – Meet Prof. Jo Clarke: psychologist, researcher, and founder of Petros.
02:30 – What she learned working inside maximum-security prisons.
04:40 – The link between childhood trauma and violent behavior.
07:10 – How she thinks about blame, responsibility, and human pain.
11:15 – Walking into a prison at 23 and learning what real pressure feels like.
14:00 – The origins of her obsession with resilience.
16:25 – What resilience really means (hint: it’s not “bouncing back”).
18:45 – The difference between adversity and trauma.
23:00 – Why some people survive trauma and others don’t.
26:30 – Managing your energy when life won’t let up.
28:45 – How Jo used her own tools to survive her daughter’s illness.
33:30 – How to stop your mind from writing stories that destroy you.
36:40 – The most dangerous myth about resilience.
40:00 – How to build resilience inside systems that deplete it.
42:50 – Why asking for help is an act of courage, not weakness.
45:40 – Jason opens up about crying, guilt, and the voices in his head.
49:50 – Why resilience is relational, not individual.
52:20 – What men can do when they feel like they have no one to talk to.
55:00 – How to reach out without being shut down.
58:00 – The power of simply being seen.
1:03:00 – What resilience should look like 10 years from now.
1:08:40 – The three things every man needs to know about resilience.
Books Mentioned
* Work Without Stress: Building a Resilient Mindset for Lasting Success
By Derek Roger & Nick Petrie
The book Jo references when she talks about The Challenge of Change training and learning how to manage your mind.
* The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
By Charlie Mackesy
The illustrated book she mentions when discussing courage and reframing asking for help.
Conversations with people like Jo remind me how many men are silently fighting battles they don’t know how to win.
Most men try to think their way out of pain. I did too. Hell, I still do at times.
10 Hard Truths Every Man Needs to Hear About Grief is the guide I wish I’d had.
It’s straight talk about what grief does to you, and how to stop getting stuck in it.
