Oxford. Took the train. Read The Best of Everything by Kit de Waal all the way there (it’s great). As I changed at Reading, the skies filled with a ready downpour and the carriage with students, or so I imagined the young people around me, too early for Oxford first years, but there were plenty of faces that described second and third years in that place fought for and won. Sophie begins in October. I will visit her there.
Stopped at the lights waiting to cross the road, a child grabbed his parents to him and I heard the father say, of course we’re a family. I tried to gauge his expression when he’d reassembled himself road facing, watching for the sign to cross. Sadness? Pride? An entire breakdown of a marriage in his bristly chin, eyes that said, we’ve made it work despite my heart breaking. I imagined grown up conversations between him and his organised wife who held the hand of their son, a neat line of, We will not let this affect him. They walked into the Society Café as I walked out, early for my meeting and in need of protein, an eggs and bacon affair they would not serve, a shrug from the girl behind the counter when I committed the ultimate café sin of asking if there was anywhere else nearby.
Stupid me, I thought as I walked away and the civilised still-a-family walked in. This was Oxford. Of course there was a place nearby.
Eggs, avocado, vegan sausage, earl grey tea no milk round the corner, I didn’t eat the sourdough and the serving girl apologised for me not remembering to say, no bread and then laughed when I said, No it was me that forgot and made a gesture with her hands like, that’s true. When I returned to the Society Café the same girl appeared not to remember me, was all help and smiles as I ordered triple mint tea. I took a seat at the counter and watched the scene unfold of a regular customer arrive. Hang on. I should say, Lover boy because he was over excited and so was she but neither had so far admitted there was anything more to it than him turning up and them chatting. He’d been running, he’d hurt his knee, she was somehow on the other side of the counter by now and he was describing the muscles in his thighs and even doing an impression of the pain and I was thinking, When he sits down he’s going to think, oh s**t, did I really do that? but right now they’re in the thrill of over excitement and he’s pretending he’s just come in for his normal coffee and corner table and she’s pretending he’s not flirting with her and her friends are whispering and holding their hands to their mouths.
Hysteria behind the coffee machine ensued. High pitched can’t contain it squeaks, still no one naming it, but they’ve been here before. The eyes tell all and she must front face it and take his order as if there’s nothing else going on. He is flushed with success. My meeting arrives and though I’m deep in it and engaged I can’t help hearing him say, as his lady love brushes past, I’ve drawn a horse and turn his lap top to show her. I wonder if he’ll have the courage to break the fourth wall and ask her out.
Lunch with T. A delight. Gossip and a shared history of decades. We hugged and said good luck in each other’s ears at the same time. Read The Best of Everything all the way home, and Jacobi arrived fresh off the plane from Holland full of 18 and turned into a man. We shared stories. Beautiful.
Eleanor
