I recently read a story that claimed people were falling in love with AI Chatbots. That surprised me since my experience with this kind of technology mainly entails frustration with the ineffective tools you find on the help page of various businesses.
Most often, the response I get is some form of, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand your query. Please try again.”
Love? I don’t think so.
But then I recalled how often individuals succumb to various scams involving emails from a person in distress. Perhaps a large part of the appeal is simply sending off a reply with the hope of actually getting a response.
It’s sad when you consider how lonely the people in our communities actually are.
When I thought about it further, I began to recall the strong feelings I’ve developed for various characters in film and in literature. There is a longing for connection that exists deep within the human soul. If we can’t get the real thing, I suppose we look to fulfill that need in whatever way we can.
The characters I’ve loved
We become attached to the stories we read. The characters become real to us. Growing up, I read a lot of fantasy. My favorite parts were not the magic or the dragons or the battles. I preferred how the main character ventured off on a quest and found a group of people he could rely on along the way.
I read fantasy for the friendships.
These stories were always about a journey. The hero would meet various people and they would gain each other’s trust, or lose it. They would reward the faith they showed in each other, or betray it. The mystery came in seeing how it all played out.
I admired watching the relationships develop. It was comforting to see the hero transition from being alone and hopeless to being surrounded by reliable friends and determined. There were characters that were fun-loving, or intellectual, or loyal or duplicitous. Oddly, all of them seemed to have a moment where their traits were perfectly suited to handling an unexpected obstacle.
Once you get swept up, the characters feel real
When you think about it, I suppose reading the adventures of a group of heroes is not so far removed from having a conversation with an AI tool. The only difference is that you’re an active participant rather than an observer.
There have been times, particularly when I was young, when I became distraught at the death of a character. I’m not sure I would call that “love,” but it does represent a strong connection to what is essentially an artificial concept.
Even though you can go back and read the story over and over, the ending creates a finality that can be hard to process. In experiencing these moments, we are given information about our true emotions. It creates a map to guide our aspirations about what we might expect from life.
Influential characters in television and film
I have fond memories of the film Better Off Dead, starring John Cusack. He plays a character named Lane who begins a relationship with a sophisticated French foreign exchange student named Monique. Monique pretends she doesn’t know English because she feels the American society she’s been dumped into is something of a madhouse.
Monique is played by Diane Franklin who was around 22 at the time of filming. What attracted me to that character was the fact that she seemed to float above the superficial reality of American high school which I had to deal with at the time.
For example, in the film, there’s a ski hill that terrifies everyone in the community. But the first time Monique tries the run, she navigates it with the practiced grace of an expert. Perhaps Monique is from a village in the French Alps with ski resorts that are significantly more challenging.
It was impactful for me to see this reminder that your reality can change dramatically once you escape the borders of your small town. The people that are overlooked in one place might be celebrated in another. That idea provided significant nourishment for my soul.
Better Off Dead provided me with the motivation to seek out foreign students both in high school and at college. That probably contributed a lot to my developing love of travel. Had it not been for that film, perhaps I would never have moved to Peru where I eventually met my wife.
Chatbots of our favorite characters
I have to admit that I initially felt repulsed at the idea of falling in love with a chatbot. But the more I think about it, the more I feel “love” is the wrong word. Human beings are curious about people and places and different points of view. There was a time when I read everything I could about dinosaurs. I wasn’t “in love” with dinosaurs. I just felt a compulsion to know more.
If I’d have had access to a chatbot version of Luke Skywalker growing up, I most certainly would have spent a few hours asking questions. A friend of mine is a scientist who is working on developing an AI version of himself. He sent me a trial model and the experience was startlingly similar to talking to him in real life.
What a neat idea it is to make artificial recreations of the people we love. I wouldn’t be too quick to judge anyone who spent their time chatting with an artificial representation of somebody they lost. After all, we spend our time looking at photos and reading old letters don’t we?
We fall in love with the characters we meet. Is falling in love with a chatbot really all that different?
Chatbots of famous fictional characters
I confess I’d be interested to sit down with a chatbot based on Holden Caulfield. He’s the embodiment of many of the anxieties that young people are likely to experience at some point in their life.
Even as an adult, I’m often compelled to revisit Holden’s musings and struggles. My desire to spend a few hours with Holden Caulfield doesn’t indicate that I am deprived of true emotional contact. That’s not the case at all. I have the good fortune to live in a loving home with a wife and two daughters.
But sometimes I appreciate revisiting Holden’s story so I remain mindful of the warning flags that indicate a person in distress. My own daughters are approaching the age when Holden’s conflicts are likely to become their own, and I want to be primed to assist them in whatever way I can.
The longing to connect
There’s nothing salacious about being drawn to captivating personalities. Human beings long for contact. We long for understanding, and we seek it out in whatever form we can.
The idea that people would turn away from books written by actual people in favor of an artificial chatbot is concerning at first blush. But we must always be mindful that AI is derived from human creations.
It becomes a matter of putting things into context. There was likely a time in the past when people who grew up with books saw that their contemporaries were developing what seemed like unhealthy bonds with the characters of film and television.
In some ways, the characters of the media we consume can replace actual friendships. But there’s also the reality that we all go through transition periods. Our lives change, and we’re not always completely equipped to venture forth. In those moments, a book or a show or a chatbot might provide the exact amount of comfort that we need.
Companionship without baggage
There have certainly been times when I’ve experienced periods of confusion. In those moments, I didn’t have the energy to engage with real people. There have been times when this lasted for a few weeks, and other times when it has lasted for years. We are allowed to treat ourselves with grace and give ourselves the time to heal.
In those moments, watching films and shows was enough. When that stopped being enough, I returned to people. We evolve and we grow into our power. We listen to the deep longing to take another step and make the experiences more real and more personal. I think that’s a natural and healthy process.
Human beings prepare themselves for the events of their lives. I don’t think that it’s particularly concerning if people spend part of that process learning from a program. We all seek human connections. I think any source is valuable if it teaches people how to love.
But we should also be mindful that life is far too precious to settle for the artificial. I think that I shall never see a simulation as lovely as a human being.
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