On the outside looking in, many would assume that ADHD and Perfectionism would be polar opposites.
Where ADHD is a disorder that deals with hyperactivity, impulsive behavior, and difficulty with focusing, Perfectionism is most commonly associated with requiring a high level of attention to details.
However, despite their nuances and differences, there is a strong relationship between having ADHD and being a perfectionist that many may not realize
While it’s admirable to want to do our best and strive for academic, social and professional success, many folks with ADHD go beyond this desire to do well.
They create unrealistic standards of success, compare themselves negatively to neurotypical friends and focus too much on the end result and not the process of getting there.
There are several helpful aspects of perfectionism that assist individuals with ADHD to get started and keep going on tasks and projects.
You want to achieve a personal standard, create a piece of work or express themselves with pride and satisfaction.
Perfectionism also contributes to the productive side of worry. It helps people by encouraging planning and fostering initiation such as doing tedious work, getting to work on time or remembering to charge your phone.
But, perfectionism also limits people with ADHD.
The damaging aspects of perfectionism include:
Self-criticism (negative self-talk)
Rigidity (not completely right means failure)
Fear of disappointment (self or others)
Avoidance of failure (not trying because effort won’t earn desired result)
Sensitivity to feedback (defensiveness)
Discouragement/depression (low self-worth due to incomplete goals)
A word of caution - the perfectionism-procrastination loop often reflects an entrenched pattern of thinking and behaving, accompanied by strong emotions.
Owning the tendencies of ADHD, taking small steps, allows progress to take time, and there will be setbacks along the way, so it’s best to adopt the approach of chipping away at it gradually.
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