Beloved, how are you?!
I think we can both agree “Self Discipline” is not a fun choice of words.
BUT…..
What If Everything You Thought About Self-Discipline Was Backward?
I recently read the book Superhabits and I wanted to share this deeply touching insight on where we go off track with “Personality Tests” and lack of intention, which spins us in circles trying to meet our illusive goals.
The author states what I’m about to share as a Universal System for a Successful Life.
Let me know if you agree.
I do.
Let’s jump in.
The Stoics think the only thing needed for a good, happy life is excellent character, something we can all develop — regardless of our circumstances — by cultivating four core virtues.
Most of us think self-discipline is about suppressing desires and forcing yourself to do things you hate. But true self-discipline isn’t about deprivation—it’s about redirection.
Think about it: your desires and emotions provide energy.
The problem isn’t having desires—it’s letting them pull you in unhelpful directions.
When you spend hours scrolling social media, you’re not lacking discipline—you’re just misdirecting your curiosity toward content that doesn’t help you grow.
True self-discipline liberates you. It’s about giving your desires better outlets, choosing deeper satisfaction over quick dopamine hits.
When we struggle with discipline, we are actually trying to develop multiple virtues at once—without realizing it.
The "Super Habits" That Shape Your Life
Did you know that humans are naturally predisposed to develop certain habits? These “super habits” or virtues are like muscles—you already have them inside you, waiting to be activated.
The ancient Greeks and Romans identified about 50 core virtues that form the foundation of human excellence.
And here’s the exciting part: any problem you face in life can be addressed by cultivating the right virtue.
For example, if you practice restraint by waiting 24 hours before making an impulse purchase, you’re not just improving your shopping habits—you’re strengthening self-control in every area of your life.
Regular habits make you better at specific tasks. Virtues make you better at being human.
The Four Cardinal Virtues: A Blueprint for Life
For centuries, we’ve had a complete map of virtues hiding in plain sight. The foundation of all virtues comes from four cardinal virtues:
* Prudence – Governs thoughts and decisions
* Justice – Guides interactions with others
* Fortitude – Helps you move forward despite fear
* Temperance – Helps manage desires (self-discipline)
Why these four? Because they perfectly map to daily life:
* Every day, you make decisions (Prudence).
* You interact with others (Justice).
* You face challenges (Fortitude).
* You experience desires (Temperance).
And here’s a fascinating insight: the best way to develop these virtues is in reverse order.
* Start with self-discipline (Temperance) – Without it, you’re at the mercy of emotions.
* Develop courage (Fortitude) – Otherwise, the first obstacle will stop you.
* Focus on justice – Learn to serve others.
* Finally, cultivate wisdom (Prudence) – Make better decisions.
Every virtue represents a golden mean between two extremes. Self-discipline isn’t about denying pleasure—it’s about finding the balance between overindulgence and excessive restraint.
Your Personality Isn’t Fixed—But Your Character Is Yours to Shape
There’s a dangerous confusion in our culture between personality and character. Personality tests tell us our tendencies and preferences—but they often suggest, This is just who you are.
But character is different. Character is made up of virtues—habits of excellence that anyone can develop.
When someone says, I’m just not a disciplined person or I’m not naturally courageous, they’re confusing personality with character. That’s like saying, I don’t have cardiovascular capacity while refusing to exercise.
Of course, you can develop discipline. Of course, you can become more courageous. Your character is completely malleable.
How Ancient Virtues Solve Modern Problems
Can virtues really help with things like social media addiction, impulsive shopping, or distraction?
Absolutely.
Here are a few practical examples:
* Restraint – Helps you resist trivial temptations, like impulse purchases or doomscrolling. Try waiting 24 hours before buying anything online.
* Diligence – Helps you focus on what truly matters. Instead of forcing discipline, fall in love with what you're learning.
* Orderliness – Ensures you prioritize the important over the urgent. But beware of the extreme—rigidly following a to-do list without flexibility for relationships.
* Leisure (Utropelia) – True leisure isn’t about achievement. It’s about doing something purely for the joy of it. If you’d skip the activity if a magic button gave you the same benefits, it’s not true leisure—it’s just another task.
Develop Virtues with Scientific Precision
What if you could develop character the way elite athletes train physical skills?
You can.
Here’s how:
1. Identify the Right Virtue to Work On
Don’t try to develop all 50 at once.
Look at your current challenges and ask:
* Struggling with impulse control? → Focus on restraint.
* Finding it hard to finish projects? → Develop perseverance.
2. Start Small
Any practice that exercises a virtue strengthens it. Unlike specific habits, virtues transfer across life.
3. Reflect Regularly
Check in with yourself. Which virtues need attention right now? This isn’t about hammering away at one virtue forever—it’s about fine-tuning.
4. Find Role Models
Look for people who exemplify the virtue you want to develop.
Virtue development is a communal activity, not just an individual pursuit.
Key Takeaways & Action Steps
* Reframe self-discipline – It’s not about suppression, it’s about redirection.
* Identify the deeper desire behind your struggles. What are you really seeking?
* Focus on one virtue at a time based on your current needs.
* Remember: Practicing any form of a virtue strengthens the entire virtue.
* Schedule regular reflection to assess which virtues need attention.
* Find the middle path – Virtues are always between two extremes.
* Learn from role models who embody the virtues you want to cultivate.
* Trust the process – Small, consistent efforts compound over time.
* Use personality assessments for insight, but don’t let them limit you.
* Make time for true leisure – Something you’d do even if it accomplished nothing.
These aren’t abstract ideals.
They’re practical solutions for everyday challenges.
And the best part?
You already have everything you need inside you.
These virtues are simply waiting to be activated.
I hope you loved the reframe, and that your heart carries the premise of virtues with you today - and always.
The space between goal - and - action.
Love you, Kassandra
