In this deeply personal and powerful episode of Stories, Soulwork & Substack, John sits down with trauma psychologist, author, and EMDR clinician Dr. Deborah Vinall to explore the layered realities of trauma, gaslighting, boundaries, and emotional healing.
Drawing from over 20 years of clinical experience — including work with foster youth, trafficking survivors, and mass shooting victims — Deborah shares how trauma often hides beneath “normal” family narratives. She explains how gaslighting distorts reality, erodes self-trust, and keeps individuals trapped between loyalty to family and authenticity to themselves. As discussed in the episode, recognizing gaslighting is often the first courageous step toward recovery.
The conversation moves beyond theory into lived experience. John reflects on co-parenting challenges, setting boundaries with adult children, and learning to navigate difficult relationships without bitterness. Together, they unpack the difference between cutting people off impulsively and doing the deeper work of emotional maturity.
A major theme of the episode is writing as therapy. Deborah explains the psychological power of journaling, narrative reframing, and “writing from the scar, not the wound.” Creative expression — especially handwritten journaling — activates emotional processing in ways logic alone cannot. Healing writing, she emphasizes, should first be private and honest before becoming public.
They also discuss:
* The rise of “no contact” culture and its complexities
* Intergenerational trauma and how to break the cycle
* Self-limiting beliefs formed in childhood
* Rituals for closure and grief
* The role of compassion in releasing the past
Deborah’s books, including Gaslighting: A Step-by-Step Recovery Guideand The Trauma Recovery Workbook for Teens, provide structured paths toward healing, self-trust, and healthier relationships.
At its heart, this episode is about courage — the courage to face painful truths, to set boundaries without hatred, and to sit alone long enough to meet yourself honestly.
Healing doesn’t begin with perfection.It begins with truth.
Thank you Lynn J. Broderick, Mary Ann McGee, Sage and Hygge, and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.
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About the Author
John Rinaldo writes Soul & Stories, a weekly publication centered on soul work, reflection, and the quiet process of becoming. He also hosts the live podcast Stories, Soul Work & Substack every Monday at 4 PM EST, where written ideas open into honest conversation.
He is currently working on The Hole: Forgotten in the Shadows, a documentary written and hosted by John Rinaldo and Hassan, telling the story of Italians who resisted and secretly helped smuggle Jews to safety during World War II.
John also continues his work through The Hard Truths, inspired by his book Earned, Not Given, where he explores identity, resilience, and the often-unseen experience of fathers.
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Other Ongoing Series
Learn more through Stories, Soul Work & Substack, along with The Hard Truths—inspired by Earned, Not Given—exploring identity, resilience, and the quiet erasure of fathers, and The Hole: Forgotten in the Shadows, a documentary series uncovering how Italians resisted fascism and helped smuggle Jews to safety during World War II.
© 2026 John V. Rinaldo. All rights reserved.
This work is protected under U.S. and international copyright law. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, displayed, or transmitted in any form without prior written permission. Official publications are released only through verified accounts directly controlled by John V. Rinaldo.
