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Welcome to Neuroprovocateurs, the podcast all about neurodiversity and self acceptance. Want to hear all about how neurodiversity affects culture, relationships, sexuality and identity? You’ve come to the right place.

On this episode, hosts Pam Shaffer and Laurie Penny discuss neurodivergence, social cues, and cultural differences. They explore how neurodivergent individuals are perceived and treated in different cultures, noting that British culture tolerates harm over weirdness, while American culture valorizes individualism. They delve into the evolutionary advantages of neurodivergence, emphasizing the importance of questioning social norms and how it can shape cultural evolution. Pam shares a personal anecdote about teaching her niece the value of feedback over defensiveness while Laurie humorously recounts their experience of playing a neurodivergent character in a live-action role-playing game. They both also touch on the challenges of neurodivergent relationships, highlighting the need for co-regulation and support systems.

Links

Why Does Gregg Wallace Believe He's The Real Victim?

Is He Autistic or Is He Just An Asshole? - Laurie Penny

The Law of Jante

Episode Notes

Neuroprovocateurs Introduction and Initial Banter

•Pam Shaffer introduces herself as a therapist, musician, and professional yapper.

•Laurie Penny introduces herself as a writer, screenwriter, and journalist.

•Pam and Laurie engage in a light-hearted discussion about thesaurus pronunciation and cultural differences in word pronunciation.

•They share anecdotes about mispronunciations and cultural differences, including Australian and British accents.

Divergence and Social Cues

•Pam and Laurie transition to discussing the theme of divergence and social cues.

•Pam notes the subtle cues they provided during their initial conversation about Live Action Role Play (LARP)

•Laurie emphasizes the theme of who gets to be weird and the difference between unusual behavior and behavior that causes harm.

•Pam highlights the importance of recognizing when someone's behavior causes harm and the need to respect boundaries.

Cultural Differences in Tolerance and Harm

•Laurie discusses the British tolerance for harm versus the intolerance for weirdness.

•Pam contrasts this with the American culture, which valorizes individualism and idiosyncrasy.

•They discuss the gendered aspects of weirdness and harm in different cultures.

•Laurie shares her experiences living in California and New York, noting the bluntness and directness of New Yorkers.

Cultural Evolution and Neurodivergence

•Laurie introduces the concept of cultural evolution and the role of neurodivergent individuals in society.

•They discuss the evolutionary advantage of having diverse social norms and the importance of questioning established practices.

•Pam shares her thoughts on the interplay between individual and collective experiences.

•Laurie elaborates on the role of neurodivergent individuals in transmitting knowledge and challenging social norms.

Social Norms and Feedback

•Pam shares a story about her nieces and the importance of understanding feedback versus bullying.

•They discuss the challenges of receiving negative feedback and the need to distinguish between inconvenience and harm.

•Laurie emphasizes the importance of proper feedback and the role of social norms in protecting others from harm.

•Pam reflects on the difficulty of accepting care and the need for co-regulation in relationships.

Neurodivergent Relationships and Care

•Pam and Laurie discuss the challenges of neurodivergent relationships and the need for care and support.

•They share personal experiences of struggling to accept care and the importance of co-regulation in relationships.

•Pam reflects on the differences in needs between neurodivergent individuals and the importance of finding compatible partners.

•Laurie highlights the social isolation experienced by neurodivergent individuals and the need for more care and support.

Live Action Role Play and Neurodivergence

•Laurie shares her experience of playing Kirsty Shelley in a large LARP game.

•She describes the freedom of leaning into her neurodivergent traits and making them everyone else's problem.

•Pam and Laurie discuss the benefits of LARP for neurodivergent individuals and the opportunity to explore different social norms.

•They reflect on the importance of having servants and support systems in real life to manage neurodivergent traits.

Neurodivergent Traits and Compatibility

•Pam and Laurie discuss the compatibility of different neurodivergent traits in relationships.

•They share their experiences of being in relationships with individuals who have similar or different neurodivergent traits.

•Pam reflects on the importance of finding partners who complement her neurodivergent traits.

•Laurie emphasizes the need for understanding and accommodating different neurodivergent traits in relationships.

Cultural Norms and Social Hierarchy

•Pam and Laurie discuss the impact of cultural norms and social hierarchy on neurodivergent individuals.

•They share their experiences of navigating social norms and the challenges of being seen as difficult or annoying.

•Pam reflects on her sensitivity to social hierarchy and her tendency to avoid cult-like environments.

•Laurie discusses the importance of challenging social norms and the role of neurodivergent individuals in doing so.

Final Reflections and Future Directions

•Pam and Laurie reflect on the importance of understanding and accommodating neurodivergent traits in relationships.

•They discuss the need for more support and care for neurodivergent individuals.

•Pam shares her thoughts on the importance of co-regulation and the benefits of having a supportive partner.

•Laurie emphasizes the need for more research and understanding of neurodivergent traits and their impact on society.



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