Today’s episode is personal. Very personal.
I turn 40 on the 14th of April. And I want to tell you what I actually built. Not the link in bio version, the real version.
Fair warning: writing the blog that goes with this episode was the longest anything has ever taken me. I did not expect the influx of emotion, memories, trauma, and celebration those words would carry. So this episode is the same. Raw. Straight from the heart.
And for the record, my version of celebrating a birthday is a good South African braai with friends, a Cadbury slab, and a strong coffee. So we are doing this properly.
Oh — and tonight, on my actual birthday, I am not at a party. I am running the IN10TEEN programme. Moms and their daughters. Because the best thing you can do with what you have built is give it to the next generation while you still can. That is not sacrifice. That is the whole point.
SEGMENT 1: THE ORDER MATTERS
Before I tell you what I built, I need to tell you how I define success. Because if we are not working from the same definition, the rest of this conversation will not make sense.
The world defines success by what is visible. Revenue. Title. Followers. A PhD — which, yes, I now have, and I worked hard for it; but even that is not the thing.
Here is my definition:
A living relationship with God. A healthy marriage. Children who are whole and loved. Relationships chosen with rigour. A business that does not just serve clients, it develops them.
That is success. Everything else is fruit.
And the order matters. Most people build the career first and hope the rest follows. I built soul first, then family, then relationships, then business. I will be honest — I had a do-over in getting that sequence right. But I got there. And that sequence is the reason I can stand at 40 with no regrets.
Not a perfect life. An IN10TIONAL one.
SEGMENT 2: THE SIX GOALS
Before this milestone, I had six things I wanted to have built. Here is the honest report.
Goal 1: A happy marriage. Still choosing it every day. Marriage is a discipline, not a destination. And every day we are both right — well, if you know me, I actually like to be wrong, because then I learn. So let’s say he is right more often. It works for us.
Goal 2: Great kids. Healthy. Loved. Grounded. Goal reached. I never thought I would have so many — but I am so happy. They colour in my world.
Goal 3: A healthy body. This one cost me the most. Health has been a genuine struggle not a checkbox, not a season, a real ongoing fight. I am more IN10TIONAL about my body today than I have ever been. I want to say a specific thank you here to Claire Julsing Strydom and Dr. Mary Atkinson for taking my hand and walking me through this journey of becoming strong. You do not always do it alone, and you should not have to.
Goal 4: Write a book. I’m at book three. The principles kept producing more than one book could hold.
Goal 5: Build a business that builds other businesses. Seventeen years. Three companies. Clients who have grown because of what we built together. I used to call myself a serial entrepreneur, it felt good, I enjoyed the chase. But through the years I realised depth matters more to me than adding another line to the list. Quality over quantity. Always.
Goal 6: Surround myself with IN10TIONAL people. Relationships have always been central to who I am. The people in my circle are deliberate choices. And I protect that circle accordingly.
Six goals. Six results. None of it accidental growth.
SEGMENT 3: THE 10 IN10TIONAL PRINCIPLES — LIVED, NOT LECTURED
My book IN10TIONALITY: Ten Ways to Live a Rewarding and IN10TIONAL Life is built on ten principles. I did not teach them in a classroom and then live differently outside it.
I applied them, imperfectly, consistently, across four decades.
Here is what each one produced.
1. Be IN10TIONAL about your Soul. The birthing place of everything. Every time I was tempted to build for applause instead of purpose, this principle corrected me. I am solid on having an eternal mindset, purpose-driven, not instant-gratification driven. I work in social media. I know the difference between the two. Deeply.
2. Be IN10TIONAL about your Relationships. I chose my people carefully. IN10TIONAL friendship is a leadership discipline, not a soft skill. The people around you are either investments or withdrawals. Choose accordingly.
3. Be IN10TIONAL about your Community. I did not build in isolation. A business that builds other businesses. A coaching community. A platform. A peer advisory network. I say this all the time, community is the currency of the future. Why not become part of one that is actually building something?
4. Be IN10TIONAL about your Happiness. This one surprised people when I wrote it. But happiness is a decision you make before circumstances cooperate. I decided what would fill my life, a braai with people I love, a good coffee, meaningful work, my faith, and I built my life around those things. Not the other way around.
5. Be IN10TIONAL about your Finances. The habits came before the results. Always. Financial discipline is not something you develop after the money arrives, it is what makes the money stay.
6. Be IN10TIONAL about your Business. Seventeen years. Three companies. A PhD. A platform. John Maxwell certified. All of it built by design, not default. And here is what I want you to hear, being greater is not about EGO. You know what I am about to say. It is about ECO. The ecosystem around you. The people you develop. The legacy you leave in the organisations you touch.
7. Be IN10TIONAL about what makes you Stronger. I have one temple, and I am determined to keep it strong for this earthly mission I am on. The health battle was real. It still is. But physical discipline gave me the capacity to sustain everything else. You cannot pour from empty.
8. Be IN10TIONAL about what makes your Mind Healthy. Mental health is not a swear word. It is the infrastructure that houses stability, resilience, and longevity. What you rehearse in your mind, you eventually perform in your life. We have the mind of Christ, that is a good starting point. Keep it healthy.
9. Be IN10TIONAL about your Future, Plan Ahead. Six goals. Written down. Worked on. Reached. I did not arrive at 40 by default. I planned, built, adjusted, and kept moving. And now I am asking myself, what is next? That is the question worth sitting with at every milestone.
10. Be IN10TIONAL about your Team. JDC Digital. JDC Academy. JDC Corp. The Leadership Boardroom. The CEO Collective. Learn Social Media. The IN10TIONALIST community. None of it runs on one person. Your ceiling is determined by the people around you. Choose your team IN10TIONALLY.
SEGMENT 4: WHAT 40 ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE
I get this question a lot. And you probably ask it about your own milestones too.
There were seasons that tested every principle on this list simultaneously. Seasons where discipline was the only architecture still standing. Seasons where I had to choose, again and again, to be the person I said I was going to be.
That is the part the highlight reel skips. It is also the part worth the most.
40 does not feel like a goodbye. It feels like a hi. Hi to purpose. Hi to showing you how to live IN10TIONALLY even more deliberately than before. Not just hello to my future, hello to yours as well.
SEGMENT 5: THE BIRTHDAY GIFT
Most people turn 40 and receive gifts. I want to give one.
IN10TIONALLYme — my personal growth and coaching platform — is live.
It is built on the same ten principles I just walked you through. And to mark this milestone, I am opening access at a rate that will not be available again.
Monthly 1-on-1 coaching. 24/7 support. The full resource library. Private community. Monthly live expert webinars. Progress and goal tracking. Full LSM course access. IN10TEEN, IN10 Industry Leader, and IN10CEO programmes.
Normal rate: R2,500 per month. Birthday rate: R1,600 per month.
That is R900 back in your pocket — every month.
This closes at midnight on 14 April. 72 hours. That is it.
Comment BIRTHDAY in the show notes or go to the link directly.
And for the first 10 subscribers — I am giving away 10 free book sets. Both IN10TIONALITY and It Is Finished. The first 10 in get both books on me.
Comment BIRTHDAY. Move fast. The price and the books both disappear at midnight.
Thank you to every person who has played a role in my journey. You know who you are. Not all of it could fit into one episode — but all of it is carried in everything I build.14qe55522222
IN10TIONALITY and It Is Finished are available on Amazon, Takealot, Barnes & Noble, and Fishpond.
I will see you next month — with more practical steps to living IN10TIONALLY.
You have the right to live a Godly, successful, and prosperous life. Now go do so.
