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Do you long for hope amid mental, emotional, or everyday struggles?
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Join mental health coach,
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inner healing prayer warrior,
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author,
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and trauma survivor,
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Tammy Kennington,
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on From Hardship to Hope,
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the podcast for Christian women navigating motherhood,
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mental health,
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or matters of faith.
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If you need biblical support, encouragement, and actionable tips, this show is for you.
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Welcome.
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I'm your host, Tammy Kennington.
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Today, we're discussing loneliness.
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within the framework of Scripture.
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We'll delve into the life of Elijah and consider some takeaways,
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and at the end of the episode,
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discuss specific ways to grow through and beyond loneliness.
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So let's get started.
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The article read,
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Lonely old man in his 80s,
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strong-bodied,
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can shop,
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cook,
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and take care of himself.
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No chronic illness.
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I retired from a scientific research institute with a monthly pension of $946 a month.
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My hope is that a kind-hearted person or family will adopt me,
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nourish me through old age,
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and bury my body when I'm dead.
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This is taken from a 2021 news article written by a man named Han in China.
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I often wonder about Han.
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Did someone usher him into their family?
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Did a Christian community invite him to church?
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Did they meet his need for friendship, for companionship, for protection?
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The book Project Unlonely by Dr. Jeremy Noble exposes what he terms the loneliness crisis.
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And he notes that trauma,
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aging,
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illness,
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and differences all contribute to loneliness,
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one of the world's gravest social issues.
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Yet we know from Scripture the story of loneliness is as old as time.
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In Genesis 2 we read, Soon after Adam was created,
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that God said it is not good for man to be alone.
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We were made to commune with God and one another.
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But after the fall, that need for companionship became altered.
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Men no longer walked with God in the garden.
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There was a gap in that relationship.
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And the relationship between men and women was altered.
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And we see that all throughout Adam's family with his sons having such struggle
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that one rose up and killed the other.
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That discomfort that loneliness brings with it reminds us of the importance of relationship.
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Many people from Scripture also experience that same struggle,
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and we can learn a lot from what the Bible records about them.
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So today we're going to talk about one of the greatest prophets in the Old Testament, Elijah.
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He was a powerful, influential man at the time.
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He reprimanded King Ahab, who had let all of the northern kingdom of Israel into idolatry.
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Elijah called fire down from heaven on Mount Carmel, yet he experienced acute loneliness.
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In 1 Kings,
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we discover that he was fearing for his life after revealing to Ahab that there
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would be a famine in the land that would only end at his command.
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The prophet, led by God, hid by the brook Cherith.
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And out of curiosity, I looked up the meaning of that Hebrew word.
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I discovered it means community of misfits and off the mainstream.
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It intrigues me that God sent his faithful follower to a creek that reflected Elijah's light
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Elijah didn't align with society's values.
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In fact, he opposed the idolatry of those in the mainstream.
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And I wonder how many of us feel like we've camped by the brook designated for
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those swimming upstream.
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Maybe you feel that way.
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Maybe your family sees you as the Bible thumper.
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Maybe you're the only Christian in your family.
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Maybe you struggle to connect with co-workers because instead of using Jesus as a
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curse word,
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it's said in prayer.
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Maybe you feel abandoned by a loved one.
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Maybe you are lonely for a prodigal in your life.
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A well-known author,
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Lisa Turkhurst,
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once wrote on Proverbs 31 about attending an event and how she felt so rejected and overlooked.
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She says,
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I couldn't wait to be with these people,
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and I couldn't wait for the deep friendships that would surely bloom as a result of
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our time together.
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Walking into the meeting room, I quickly located the table of the people I was excited to meet.
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Every seat had a name tag attached, so I circled the table looking for mine.
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As I got to the last chair and realized my name wasn't there, my heart sank.
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Finally, at a table on the opposite side of the room, I found my name.
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The Lord must have a special plan for me to meet and connect with the others
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assigned to my table,
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I thought.
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Taking my seat, I pulled out my cell phone and waited nervously for my table mates.
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I waited and waited and waited.
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As the prayer for the meal concluded and the event got underway,
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it became painfully apparent to me that the others assigned to my table weren't
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able to come for some reason.
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So I'd be seated alone.
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Very alone.
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In my head, I started to have a little pity conversation.
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Well, self, would you like a roll or ten perhaps?
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And that's when a very clear sentence popped into my head.
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You aren't set aside, Lisa.
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You are set apart.
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It wasn't audible and it wasn't my own thought.
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I knew it was a thought assigned by God that I needed to ponder.
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To be set aside is to be rejected.
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That's exactly what the enemy wanted me to feel.
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If he could get me to feel this,
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then I'd become completely self-absorbed in my own insecurity and miss whatever
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reason God had for me to be at this event.
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When loneliness sets in, I wonder, are those enemy's arrows finding their mark?
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Let's deny the enemy the victory over our minds.
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Scripture actually calls us to be holy, which literally means set apart.
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We are to be the Elijahs of our day.
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Elijah's story does not end at the creek side.
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Instead, the drought that he had announced to King Ahab affected him.
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The brook dried up and his provision as well.
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But God had a solution.
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He sent the prophet four hours away to Phoenicia.
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There was a widow there, and Elijah met her and said, please give me some bread and some water.
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And she proceeded to tell him,
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look,
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I'm just out here gathering sticks to make a little fire and to use the last of my
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flour and oil to make a final bit of bread for my son and me,
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and then we know we'll die.
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God sent Elijah to an unbelieving woman who called God your God.
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And in her kindness,
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she listened to Elijah,
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made him the bread,
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and invited the man God loved into her home.
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And not only did God continue to give them flour and oil to sustain them throughout
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the entirety of the famine and the drought,
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but when that woman's son died,
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Elijah raised him back from the dead,
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and she recognized God as her own.
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So God extended mercy not just to Elijah—
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but also to the woman and her son.
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It's such a beautiful story of God's mercy and compassion and provision.
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After three years, the Lord called Elijah back to Israel to confront Ahab.
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And while he was there, he met the priests of Baal on Mount Carmel.
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There were 450 of them,
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all calling out to their God,
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Baal,
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all calling out for him to answer their prayers.
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Meanwhile, Elijah said, whoever has a God that answers, he is the true and living God.
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When the prophets of Baal finally gave up, they had gashed themselves.
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They had called out for hours until their voices were hoarse.
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And Elijah said, pour water on this altar.
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And he dug a trench and gallons and gallons and gallons of water absolutely
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drenched the wood on the altar.
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Elijah called out to God and fire came down and consumed the altar,
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the wood,
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the water,
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and the dust.
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After that, Elijah had all of those false prophets killed.
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Upset and angry,
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Ahab fled home to his wife,
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who happened to be the most dangerous enemy in the kingdom,
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Jezebel.
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And when she heard of Elijah's victory, she put a price on Elijah's head, and he fled in fear.
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into the wilderness.
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In his despair, he called out, I have had enough.
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I wonder if you're in that same place today,
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if you've been in that place before,
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if you've been alone in the wilderness or even there now shouting the words,
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I've had enough.
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God did not condemn Elijah,
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despite his skewed perception of circumstances,
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because truly,
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loneliness can lead to his skewed perception of our situation.
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Like Elijah, we might call out, I alone am left.
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Nobody understands me.
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Nobody understands my situation.
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Nobody gets my pain.
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Nobody understands my grief.
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Nobody understands what it is to grapple with this illness.
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There's no one else who gets trauma like this.
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Elijah was in that place.
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But Obadiah,
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a servant over Ahab's household,
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had hidden and provided for 100 prophets who loved the Lord.
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Elijah wasn't alone.
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But he was so consumed by self and situation,
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he couldn't remove his gaze from the pain to the power of God.
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One of my favorite psalms, Psalm 121,
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encourages us to take a different approach it says i lift up my eyes to the hills
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from whence comes my help my help comes from the lord who made the heavens and the
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earth when we can remove our eyes from our own pain and look toward heaven and
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heaven's purpose
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Our circumstance itself may remain the same, but we can be transformed.
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Let's take a closer look at God's response to Elijah's loneliness.
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We've seen how Elijah responded to his loneliness,
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but let's take a look to see how God responded to him.
When Elijah said, I've had enough, I can't take anymore, God did not condemn him.
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His scripture reveals that God sent an angel instead to refresh his exhausted follower.
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He provided him with heaven-sent bread and a jug of fresh water.
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Afterward,
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Elijah launched on a 40-day journey until he arrived on Mount Horeb,
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the same mountain that Moses hiked up to receive the commandments,
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the same mountain Moses hiked where he saw the burning bush.
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God heard the prophet's lament,
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not once,
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but twice,
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when Elijah said,
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I've been very zealous for the Lord,
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and I alone am left.
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Maybe you have been zealous for the Lord too.
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You've done all the right things.
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I thought that if I did all the right things in my life,
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if I followed God,
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if I raised my children in a home with a Christian husband and we directed them
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toward the face of God,
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then A plus B would equal C.
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Things would fall into place.
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But life isn't like that.
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We do have an enemy.
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And the world is fallen.
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But what I love is that God reveals him in the most unexpected way.
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And he can do this for Elijah.
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He can do this for us.
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1 Kings 19 reads, He came there to a cave and lodged there.
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And behold, the word of God came to him and he said, What are you doing, Elijah?
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And he said,
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I've been very zealous for Yahweh,
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the God of hosts,
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for the sons of Israel have forsaken your covenant,
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pulled down your altars,
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and killed your prophets with the sword,
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and I alone am left.
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So God said, Go forth, stand on the mountain.
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And behold,
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Yahweh was passing by,
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and a great and strong wind was tearing up the mountains and breaking in pieces the
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rocks before Yahweh.
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But Yahweh was not in the wind.
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And after the wind, an earthquake, but Yahweh was not in the earthquake.
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Then after the earthquake, a fire, but Yahweh was not in the fire.
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And after the fire, a sound of a thin, gentle whisper.
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Now that it happened that when Elijah heard it,
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he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave.
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And behold, a voice came to him and said, What are you doing here, Elijah?
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God's gentle whisper.
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Elijah suffered through the famine.
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He dealt with persecution.
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He managed isolation.
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But he also encountered the Lord.
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God sustained him.
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He was promised community and he was commissioned for a new thing.
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To anoint a prophet and a new king.
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That gentle whisper of God is for us too.
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We can hear his gentle whisper in the Holy Spirit when we meet with him,
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when we abide in him,
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when we climb that spiritual mountain and we say,
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God,
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I can't do this on my own,
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but you can.
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So just as God met Elijah in his loneliness, he will meet us in ours.
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We know.
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That when Elijah was alone, God did something interesting.
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He at first addressed Elijah's physical needs.
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He provided nourishment.
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He provided water and food and rest.
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And then he offered him comfort and guidance.
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God is our provider.
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The Lord's Prayer tells us, Give us this day our daily bread.
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But He's also the God who is our spiritual river.
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He will fill us to overflowing with the Holy Spirit.
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And that Holy Spirit is the same one who is our comfort and our guide.
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He's our advocate.
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We are not left alone.
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And now let's explore a little bit more about how God's presence in the stillness
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and solitude transformed Elijah.
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From the point at which Elijah met the Lord on Mount Horeb, he gained spiritual strength.
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He put on that spiritual mantle.
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And God led him back to Israel where he declared God's power.
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He anointed a new king and a new prophet who took on Elijah's mantle.
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He fulfilled his mission.
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The reality is that loneliness is not uncommon, Christian or not.
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We all face an internal battle in times of isolation.
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We can face feelings of unfruitfulness, of unproductivity.
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Sometimes our thoughts gain the upper hand and lead us to a private wilderness of
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pain and isolation.
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How are we to cope when that happens?
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First, we need to recognize that as God assured Elijah he was not alone,
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and reminded him of the 7,000 other prophets in Israel who had not bowed to Baal,
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that there is a modern-day church filled with believers walking through their own
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and even similar valleys.
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72% of women say they sometimes feel lonely.
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They are in our churches.
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They're sitting next to us or behind us in the church pew.
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They're in us in our play groups.
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They're by our side in Bible studies.
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They're sitting with us on that commute to work.
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They are in the lounge space.
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at work,
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next to us,
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when we're in the grocery store,
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wherever it might be,
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there is another person who feels that loneliness.
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So we too,
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as the body of Christ,
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can minister to those walking through a season that we understand.
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And in those wilderness times,
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We know that our solitude is not wasted.
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For Elijah, it was a time of renewal and clarity, a recommissioning for new work.
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What is that new thing he might be doing in your life?
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These moments of loneliness can be opportunities of growth for us.
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They can be opportunities even for preparation or deeper intimacy with God.
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In fact, 40 days of fasting and prayer are shown throughout Scripture.
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Moses was on the mountain for 40 days, fasting and in prayer.
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Jesus went through the wilderness for 40 days.
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But after testing,
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there was,
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in all of the situations with these men,
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a great time of mission and purpose.
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Perhaps God may do the same thing in our lives.
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What can he teach us through our loneliness?
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Who is in our circle of influence that might be experiencing that loneliness?
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And how can we come alongside them?
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And as mentioned in our last episode, are we filling up on the Holy Spirit?
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Is our sponge so full with the living water of the Holy Spirit that when life
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squeezes us,
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we're pouring out His love,
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His grace,
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His mercy?
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Can we remove our eyes from our own pain to see something greater that God might have for us?
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If you're looking for a great read or resource,
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I'd like to recommend The New Loneliness,
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Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated by Cindy McMenamin.
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She talks about reconnecting with God,
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reconnecting with your heart,
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and reconnecting with others.
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She addresses suffering,
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comparison,
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busyness,
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mistrust,
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hashtag me first,
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screens,
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and independence,
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as well as several other topics.
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There are areas for reflection and intentionality and journaling as well.
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I can't recommend this resource enough.
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And if you really love the science side of loneliness,
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you might want to pick up a copy of Project Unlonely by Jeremy Noble.
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It is a secular book,
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but it's filled with wonderful information about projects that have helped people
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heal from loneliness.
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And you might even discover some inspiration for how you might impact your community.
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As we finish up today, I would love to pray for you.
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Lord, thank you for showing us your compassion, care, and mercy throughout Scripture.
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Like Elijah,
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we sometimes grow discouraged in our situations and sometimes feel like we're
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wandering through a wasteland,
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bereft of anything to sustain us or anyone to witness our pain.
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But you, Father, will sustain us.
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You are a witness to our struggles.
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And you call us higher to a spiritual mountain, a place of abiding beneath your wings.
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Help us surrender our circumstances to you, Abba.
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We give the loneliness of suffering, loss, illness, or difference to you.
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Give us the eyes of Elijah to help us see you warring on our behalf.
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Gird us up that we might stand against the lies of the enemy and help us move ahead
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as we seek to minister to others who are walking through a similar valley.
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Thank you for your extravagant love and for your faithful presence.
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In Jesus' precious and powerful name, Amen.
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Thank you.
