In the early days of the COVID-19 lockdowns, when we were all told that breathing could be deadly, I found some solace in the fact that the small retail space a couple of doors down from our apartment block had also become a vape shop. The increased popularity of people wandering around with kazoos in their mouths also came with the additional benefit of what I refer to as the “aerosol map.” While the health concerns for vaping in general are being largely ignored, the pandemic continued to spread. And I was grateful for the foolishness and proliferation of this seemingly acceptable, yet still antisocial, mix of ‘pastime’ and ‘self-medication.’ The general public became ever more overstimulated, creating a growing distance between my already quite steady pace, but the vaper unintentionally democratised the atmosphere, making it a considerable benefit to a cautious pedestrian such as myself.
On reflection, smoking could well be better, proverbially speaking, than vaping in a post-pandemic world; the newish normal. The normal that has not had a chance to collect dust due to the earthquakes and dropped bombs since.
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Smoking is, by design, a finite act. There is a beginning in the lighting and an end at the filter. The conscious decision by the consumer is to increase nicotine intake by a measure that is defined by the stick they have retrieved from the crushed box in their bag. Fire and a pause, outside, away from anything flammable and signs prohibiting the people group “smokers.”
Vaping is not this. The dosage is an uncertain liquid from a tiny bottle that was designed by the White Rabbit for Alice and exported to the urban streets. An intake of breath from one of the contraptions is not equivalent to a single drag, and there is no definitive end aside, obviously, from the chemicals inserted or battery capacity. But these limits are not equivalent. A vaper vapes for a single breath, but then, a few breaths later, takes another, and a few steps more, then another.
While it is supposed to be a tool for quitting smoking, the ease at which such a tool can be used to ‘quit’ it becomes itself, not merely a replacement, but a higher, more constant, more incessant need for the user to have. It is, by all accounts, worse than social media algorithms. I look at my phone every seven seconds, thankful that I am only addicted to that. The smoker observes the vaper, who is deceiving themself, believing they have the higher moral ground than those addicted to cigarettes, knowing full well that they are better off in so many ways.
For one, they have already accepted their fate: a seven-year life reduction. They can now factor this in and proceed with this as an expectation. But there are other benefits to smoking. They have a single cigarette break (which could theoretically be multiple cigarettes, but at least it’s a controlled dose), and then they can return to their responsibilities and function with a routine that means they are a contributing member of society. The Vaper does not know how this works. They will step away from their desk; however, more often than not, the work-from-home world means that they can take the occasional drag on their tiny pink electric test tube throughout the day and not know that this is becoming a dependence until they leave it at home while they pop to the shops and are unable to concentrate in the car after three minutes.
The smoker knows their limits and areas of operation. The vaper has found themselves unable to operate without the comfort of the glow-in-the-dark USB pacifier in their pocket. The aeroplane is moments away from leaving the gate on time, and fourteen people have to leave and have their luggage retrieved because they cannot figure out how they will last a moment longer before their flight takes off on its 45-minute flight to Amsterdam.
And let’s not forget, if you had to choose between inviting a smoker or a vaper to a summer barbecue, you would choose the smoker every time. They will be aware that to non-smokers, smoking is difficult to handle, and they will find ways to control their habit. And they will also have the right paraphernalia to solve any potential issues, should the barbecue fail to light, for example. Also, if it’s someone’s birthday, candles are already an easy decision.
Nobody wants a cinnamon bun-flavoured smoked salmon at a barbecue.
Now, let’s go back to reality, because I do not wish lung cancer on anyone, and would suggest that those who do smoke try to quit the addiction, as you will see real benefits. Vaping is the absolute definition of the intensity that is demanded from our overstimulated world. It is a never-ending practice that is only further entrenched, as every other high street shop will attest; you can no longer buy a range of lined paper notebooks, but you are definitely able to find the flavour for your next vape: Thai Red Curry. While there is an implicit impulse to leave vaping as an option and find something else, there is still an overhang of nervousness that remains from the airborne virus some of us were lucky enough to survive.
Which is why I would like everyone to at least be vaping while in public so that, where possible, I am able to see your breath clearly and avoid breathing the same air as you.
Thank you
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