Welcome to the Nobel Soul podcast,
For those who are only just tuning in, my name is Heidi Nobel. I created this podcast in early October, with the intention of exploring both spirituality and Christianity and sharing some enlightening beliefs with you all.
A month after creating my first Nobel Soul episode, I found myself in the hospital for nine nights. I struggled with spiritual psychosis. It was a scary time. I have only been out of the hospital for two weeks and am still adjusting to my new normal (which thankfully does not include spiritual psychosis anymore - Touch wood!)
Before landing in the hospital, I studied Christianity and Spirituality religiously. It was too much for my little human brain to make sense of, and it slowly morphed into spiritual psychosis, which was a scary time, both for me and for my sisters, who supported me and helped me get the help I needed.
I thought I would turn the notes I wrote between September and October into podcast episodes. I begin with conversations I had with my subscriber Piyush. Piyush is a lovely, loyal supporter with whom I have had many open-hearted spiritual discussions. He has a beautiful and creative imagination, and we share similar spiritual views.
I haven’t included all of the things he wrote in these first few podcast episodes, but I did take screenshots of all his messages. I may turn some of them into podcast episodes in the future (with his permission) if people are curious to know what his thoughts were.
For the sake of time and clarity, I will only share my views on Christianity for now. Piyush had beautiful things to say, but he wasn’t digging deeply into Christianity as I was. Which is fine! :)
Thank you, Piyush, for putting up with my rather manic episodes from time to time!
Without further ado, here are the Christian-based discussions that I had with Piyush:
Yeah, the gun rights debate is a tricky one. I wish that guns had never been invented. You’re asking for trouble if you allow most people to buy guns. Many people are very mentally and emotionally unstable!
God is pure love and light. I do believe that dark forces exist. And that perhaps Christians are somewhat correct when they talk about demons. But many are too quick to say that the devil is misleading us. My sharing some of my beliefs about hell also leads some Christian’s to believe that the devil is misleading me.
No, my faith in love and light is what is guiding me to share what I believe in! But I do understand why some may think that what I say is dangerous, when they truly believe in eternal damnation and that we must declare Jesus as our Lord and Saviour, or else!
I think I will always continue to be a bit new-agey, which apparently doesn’t go with Christianity. Some will see some of my beliefs as witchcraft. So yeah, it used to pain me that I didn’t feel fully embraced by Christians, due to my beliefs, so I can understand how gay people must feel. For them, it’s even worse, as many feel like something is wrong with them.
Wanting to Be Christian Yet Feeling Like I Don’t Fit In
It felt isolating at times, to want to be part of a love and light movement, or be open to getting to know Jesus, yet feeling like I didn’t quite fit in (mind you, I have yet to go to church services, so I don’t know for a fact that I wouldn’t be welcomed in).
If I do ever go to church, I imagine that I will keep a lot of these thoughts to myself, for the sake of keeping the peace. I will unless I am directly asked about my beliefs; then, honesty is the best policy, regardless of whether or not it may make people feel uncomfortable.
Church should be a place where everyone feels warmly welcomed and loved. But unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. If there is a church out there where I can express myself freely, without fear of judgment or ridicule, that would be great. There is the option of keeping my personal beliefs to myself while still attending, taking what feels good for my soul, and leaving what doesn’t.
Regardless of people’s personal beliefs, I want to look deeper than that. I can see when people are good people. I can see Charlie and Erica’s goodness. I can also see that their team are good and genuine. But yeah, I agree that you do need to be careful with what you say (can’t say I’m being very careful now though, haha, but I don’t feel like I’m saying anything too offensive).
Many of the titles in Turning Point’s videos are offensive to people. Clickbait. Charlie said that he doesn’t write the titles, but still, he was the CEO, and if he didn’t agree with the titles, he could tell his team not to write them.
I don’t think that any of the content was evil, though! Certainly not bad enough to get shot over (if there’s ever justification for that!) I have grown to like and respect the man the more videos I see. OMG, when will these messages end? I’m so OCD about sharing every detail 😄 Not sure if that’s a strength or a weakness. I like to leave no stone unturned, haha.
Yeah, anger isn’t bad; it can also be used constructively! Real anger can also be expressed and released in healthy ways that don’t hurt anyone. By doing that, you also don’t risk hurting yourself by letting it boil up inside you. If you do that, it’s only a matter of time before you explode, and that can be dangerous and lead you to do or say things that you may later regret!
I don’t mind the word “Sin” anymore. I used to hate that word, though! It felt very judgmental and fearful to me. Now I just see it as meaning that you have missed the mark (where pointing your arrow towards God’s light is concerned). We can learn from our sins and become better people once we acknowledge them and make the decision to change for the better.
Everyone sins. We should judge ourselves for it or be scared of what God will think. He may not like it when we sin (especially when we know that we can do better), but he loves us unconditionally and sees all of the challenges we have faced and the good that we do. He’s not keeping score of all our wrongs; karma will naturally balance things out.
Deep down, we all love God and are emanations from God. We just lose ourselves in the game called life! It’s a battlefield here sometimes, but it’s worth fighting the good fight for!
Christian theology is complicated! To fully understand it, you need to be a historian to understand the full context of the message. Some people recommend different versions/translations of the bible to get a clearer understanding. I don’t think I will ever dive that deep. I will keep it simple. Use it as a tool to help me gain more clarity and wisdom on my own spiritual path.
Regardless of what people believe, it’s important that people try to stay connected to all of the loving and accepting messages Jesus shared. There’s way too much judgment and separation going on in the world, from both sides. We’re all missing the point. We should practice loving our neighbours and seeing what unites, rather than disconnects us!
Homosexuality
I ask myself if it is true that homosexuality is a sin. God doesn’t make mistakes, so why would he make someone gay? One could argue that it’s one of life’s challenges for gay people not to follow the urge to be gay, that perhaps this challenge will make them stronger in their faith?
If there are gay Christian’s who genuinely feel that it is their calling to not be gay and they are completely happy with that, good for them. But they should never feel like anything is wrong with them! They should never feel like they need to spend their lives alone if, in their hearts, they desire to have a loving, intimate relationship.
“Is it not cruel?” I would ask my Christian friend. “That straight people have the option to fall in love and gay people don’t?” I think I will always support gay marriage, even if I ever feel like I want to call myself a Christian. Many Christian’s will say that that wouldn’t make me a Christian then, that you can’t just pick and choose.
I think embracing people for who they are is more Christian than making people feel like who they are attracted to, which they can’t control, is a sin. I believe that everyone needs to be true to themselves.
My Christian friend said: “What about people who are sexually attracted to animals, though, or children? They may think that they are being true to themselves when it’s clearly wrong”. He believed that we as humans need to rely on the bible to determine what’s right and wrong in God’s eyes, regardless of our personal feelings about it.
“That’s different”, I said to my Christian friend, “That’s sick and perverted. Falling in love with someone who is the same sex as you isn’t”. We are all souls at the end of the day, not male or female. Love is love. They aren’t hurting anyone, only enriching one another’s lives.
I do get where Christian’s are coming from. To be a true Christian, in their eyes, means believing and following everything that’s written in the bible. I can’t be angry at them for that, although I know that it is easy, especially with righteous Christians, to feel passionately angry when you feel that what they say is wrong or untrue. It would be great if we could put an end to all of these angry debates and just practice loving one another for who we are, not what we believe!
Jesus (supposedly) does mention several times that homosexuality is a sin. God knows if it really is. I will believe it when I hear the Lord directly say it in my ear! Until then, I’m sure that he won’t be offended if I choose to follow my own gut and heart on this one.
Millions of people may just be right, that there is nothing wrong with being Gay. God made you that way (who knows, maybe for population control!) I don’t buy the “gays are just confused” opinion of heterosexual Christians. Some may be confused about their sexuality for some time. But they and only they know if they have always, and will always be gay.
Gosh I’m way too passionate about this stuff! I may turn these novels into Medium stories one day, or videos, if I ever dare to speak up about my beliefs. Quite frankly, though, I don’t want or need judgment from so-called Christians, of which there are many online!
I agree, Piyush, I’m not against people changing their genders either, if it makes them feel more like who they really are! I do think that many youth of today are confused, but not all. I do believe, though, that physical transgender should happen later in life, the same goes for taking hormones. Because they may regret their decision later in life.
If a man wants to be called “she” though, or vice versa, I’m happy to respect their wishes, regardless of their biological gender. Some Christian’s don’t want to do that. That’s their choice, I guess.
Thank you for tuning in to part 3 of my Christianity Conversations. Part 4 will be released in two days. After this, I will be sharing a 12-page Testimony I wrote called: My Journey Back Home to God. Then, I will share spiritual contemplations which took a turn for the worse and led to Spiritual Psychosis.
The good news is that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I’m a better, stronger person for having had these experiences.
Until next time!
Stay Nobel,
Heidi Nobel
