Welcome to the Nobel Soul Podcast,
Today, I will be sharing two big texts that I sent my sister regarding Christianity on the 21st of October, 9 days before I ended up in the mental health hospital due to a spiritual psychosis emergency.
I was still of sound mind on the 21st of October, but this is around the time when I started to pull all-nighters.
Texts I Sent to My Sister:
I won’t be up for driving today, Rose, haven’t even slept yet! I just wrote a big, deep, and meaningful post about where I’m at with my faith (second big post tonight).If you would like to read it, let me know. I think you would be in line with my line of thinking 😊 I’ve dived deep where Christianity as a religion is concerned, and I don’t want to swim in that constricted pool anymore. I was right the first time. Two big spiritual articles helped me see the light.There are so many ways to see things, spiritually speaking. I’m very much still planning on connecting with God via prayer and meditation. I still believe that Jesus is a great teacher whom I would like to learn from and follow, but at this point in time, I see him more as an enlightened guru than as God.I’m open to anything! With time, the answers will get clearer for me. I could still confidently call myself a Christian according to one interpretation I read of it - But worldly Christians won’t see it that way.Fine by me 🙂 It’s God and Jesus I believe I am siding with! I can see how easy it is to get attached to what Christians believe. In their minds, they are being true Christians (I wanted to believe the bible was inerrant too!) I no longer judge them for it - Not even the beliefs I struggled with in the past!If they are loving and not hurting anyone, fine. If they are discriminating (believing that homosexuality is wrong isn’t the same as hate), then yes, they’re not leading a true, loving Christian life! Not even in their books.The problem with the bible, Rose, is that you can’t help but have it constrict your thinking. Although I believe in a lot of it, there’s stuff, like hell, that proves to me that it is a book that has largely been created to instil fear in people.For that reason, I won’t be yelling out to the world that I am a Christian. The bible can be a blessing, but also damaging. That said, I probably will still quietly smile, head up high, as I strive to start walking the kind of life Jesus preached about (Will give it a go. No promises! 😄)OK, so I was going to leave this short and sweet and not send you my big message unless you asked - only to end up writing you another big message with similar points 😂 Go to bed, Heidi, it’s 4.30 am! 😴 xx4.57 amCorrection* I do still think it makes sense that he could be God, or at the very least the Son of God (where as humans are the sons - small s) given that he was born to the Virgin Mary.If you are happy to see my other, better post, let me know. No worries if not. xx6.13 pmStill doing lots of research! I am now reading beautiful stories of Mediums (assuming they are being honest here) connecting with Jesus’ spirit. He has a very pure, calm, wise presence. I have read a few people say that they have connected with him on a much more personal level, once they left Christianity, the Religion.It’s nice, the idea of connecting with him more as a wise, protective brother, than God the Almighty! But I’m still open to that, if I ever connect to him in that way. Time will tell.I could consider my experience last year to be proof of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (maybe it was -, but that doesn’t necessarily mean Jesus = God), but I will stay humble and say “Anything is possible” until I strongly feel guided towards any particular belief/s.I still will read the bible, go to a few churches. It’s all a beautiful way to learn and connect with others. I took the cross necklace off that I had been wearing for two weeks. I’ll still wear it sometimes. But I also plan on buying a lotus flower necklace, which is more Hinduism/Buddhism.There’s beauty and wisdom to be found in many ancient sacred texts. How we define God (if we believe in him at all - I do) doesn’t matter. What matters is that we walk in love and light. We can’t go wrong then! 🤍I look forward to getting back into yoga and earthing to keep me strong and grounded, and meditation, to keep me God/Divinity Centred 😊 While still finding my place in the real world, of course! Sometimes we just need to dive away for a bit to help us find our way.No need to respond! Just thinking out loud and sharing where I’m at now on the never-ending spiritual journey 😊 I’m sure it will also resonate with you a lot more than religious indoctrination! I’ll focus on the good and leave the bad, without letting it bother me one iota. xxOne last interesting thing worth mentioning was that I recently had two experiences where I got one hell of a fright!The first was when I was blissfully walking in Cornwall park for the first time, shortly after we had our nice open open-hearted discussion about last year. I felt great after that! Full of love and light. Proudly (and a bit self-consciously) wore my cross necklace in public for the first time 😄I didn’t realise that a dog was running toward my dog. Its owner ran after him, yelling loudly! “Jesus Christ!!” I immediately yelled, followed by a soft “Sorry, Jesus - I didn’t mean to swear in your name!” ... “Although I wasn’t really 🤔”.A few days later, I was reading “The Economy of God” while sitting underneath a tree in Windsor Park like a good Godly student 😇😄“JESUS CHRIST!” I yelled as a loud mountain bike zoomed past me out of nowhere, too close for comfort.These experiences made me realise that, without thinking, we intuitively yell out to Jesus Christ when in trouble! In that way, I do believe he is our saviour. If someone feels lost in darkness, be it here or in the afterlife - I think that Jesus is the perfect Spirit to call out to! ✝️🤍
