Hi! So, I’ve made an executive decision: I’m officially retiring from calling my anxiety “anxiety”. (Which, I actually do the complete opposite of in this voice memo lol… but doesn’t matter. I’ve decided I’m going to start… NOW!)
This rebrand is mainly inspired by the fact that the word “anxiety” has been overused and, in my humble option, corrupted. It feels everyone (including me) and their Aunt Karen now claims to have anxiety.I was never one to be put in a box.
Pause: Is the Karen joke still funny? Prob not. Whatever.
Anyway, the word has gotten a bad rep and so have the people who capitalize off of it—knowingly or not.
I feel like this has gone too far. I don’t even know how to relate to the experience of anxiety at all anymore. What is real? Who is wrong? It’s a cruel cancel culture world we live in—super culty. Don’t love it. Like Daddy Darwin once said, only the fittest shall survive.
SO, to kick off this hard re-launch, I have decided to tap in a word that (TBH) is a much better fit for me anyway: Neurotic.
Slips right off the tongue, eh?!
Anxiety, to me, seems like a reaction to something—a trigger—that sends you right into a stressful spiral of fear and worry and chaos. I’ve totally been there before.
But if I’m being FOR REAL, for real… I believe my truest truth is that my personality is just prone to experiencing negative emotions on a visceral level. I think I’m just a bit more naturally wired that way than the average person. My emotions aren’t like super stable off the top lol.
For example: I currently am on edge and feel tight in my chest as I type this. But, in a peaceful way. Maybe I just have to pee. Or have had too much caffeine. Either way, my mind is quiet. Usually with anxiety I can’t feel my brain, like I’m not in my body or something.
So, on a night last Sunday, when that familiar flutter creeps into my chest, I’ll remember to think to myself “Hey B, don’t stress! That’s just the innocent, quirky little part of you throwing a party. Oh là là!”
I can live with that part of me. Maybe even learn to love it one day, too. If nothing else, it’s way more chill than the constant game of anxiety mind-monopoly. That shit is exhausting. And, clearly, I’m no good at it anyway.
I think I should write more about this one day… Bookmarked.
XOXO,
Bx
(ok, wait Bx was a typo for “bex” but I kinda love that now…)
OKAY. TTYL.
BYE!