Ephesians 4:32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
What is forgiveness? How would you explain forgiveness to someone if asked? How would you explain it to a child? The command to forgive is what we’ll be exploring in today’s newsletter, and while nothing I share will be groundbreaking or new per se, I pray it helps you love your Savior more deeply and desire to obey Him more fully.
Being told to forgive others is extremely common if you grew up in a Christian household. Personally, at a young age I was taught to apologize or say sorry when I had done something wrong. This was what I thought “asking for forgiveness” meant—admitting that I had messed up, lied, stolen, cheated, etc. I was also taught that if someone comes to me asking for forgiveness (saying “sorry”), that I should forgive them. What that meant to me was simply saying “I forgive you,” while in my heart either being glad that they fessed up to their mistake or mad because I was simply doing it out of duty.
Biblically, we see the concept of forgiveness displayed as something very different than my childish (and selfish) understanding of it. In the Bible we are taught that offering forgiveness is the action of taking responsibility for the debt someone else owes you. A good example of how to understand this would be like having your financial debt forgiven. “Loan forgiveness” means you are no longer responsible for paying back the money that you borrowed and used for your own purposes. It’s really a crazy idea because it doesn’t benefit the loan giver at all!
Now please don’t let modern politics about the idea of loan forgiveness distract you from what I’m trying to show here—forgiveness is costly for the one who offers it. For the one to whom it is extended, it’s unimaginable and unearned relief. Someone who is forgiven and understands what they’ve been forgiven of should overflow with a heart of gratitude.
This understanding of forgiveness, however, is so counter to our sin nature, and it’s definitely not how the world teaches about forgiveness either. Forgiveness in the world is not given lightly or freely. Our culture says that forgiveness must be earned or deserved, and you do not have to offer it if you ultimately don’t want to or if it doesn’t serve your best interests. This worldly practice of forgiveness comes from the fact that we, in our sin, are naturally selfish and proud. We often convince ourselves that we are in the right and know what’s best in any given circumstance, let alone in conflicts. When we are hurt or offended, we are quick to hold grudges, build walls, and burn bridges. We want what is just and fair in our hearts and minds, which usually means trying to right a wrong so that we feel better or get a positive result. When we’ve been wronged, our natural goal is not peace but to avenge.
Yet the way God defines and demonstrates forgiveness in His Word is radically different. God loves us, even though we did nothing to earn or warrant His love (John 3:16). Out of His goodness and love for us, He offers forgiveness freely to all who would believe (John 1:12). Forgiveness is part of His character, His heart, who He is:
Psalm 86:5You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.
Psalm 103:10-12…he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Micah 7:18-19Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance?You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
How amazing are those pictures of our forgiving God? I’m so thankful to be writing on this topic during Holy Week leading up to Easter Sunday, as I reflect on the cost my God paid for my sin—He suffered and died in my place so that I could be forgiven. He was then raised to life, showing His power over sin and death, and proving that my sin was paid for through His death and resurrection (2 Corinthians 5:14, 21).
Now that we’ve spent some time addressing biblical forgiveness in light of who God is, I want to address how the kingdom of God on earth, His church, should be adopting His view of forgiveness towards others. Unlike the teachers and influencers of this world, Jesus taught His disciples to forgive generously. He instructed them to forgive, forgive some more, and to keep on forgiving. Forgiveness was a central part of His message—and not just the forgiveness God offers those who believe in Him, but specifically commanding us to forgive others who have wronged us. The following passages are just a few of the times Jesus taught on ways His church was to function and handle sin with one another:
Matthew 18:21-22 (followed by the parable of the unmerciful servant)Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Matthew 6:14-15 (this came after Jesus’ instructions on how to pray and “The Lord’s prayer”)”For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Luke 17:3-5 (in the context of Jesus teaching His disciples)“…If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”
The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”
I love that we get the example of the apostles asking the Lord Jesus to increase their faith after this teaching on forgiveness specifically. Luke 17 is full of hard to apply and understand principles, yet only after this section on forgiveness do we have record of His closest followers questioning their ability to obey! Be comforted that even those who walked with Jesus here on earth and experienced His power and miracles firsthand had difficulty understanding how in the world we can possibly forgive others the way He calls us to.
Has someone ever hurt you so badly that you have thought or said, “I can never forgive them”? I know I have. Emotional and relational hurt is not something that is easy to overcome. Those who have suffered at the hands of abusers understand that in an even more real and sad way. But even if it’s difficult, even if it seems impossible, we are commanded by our Lord and Savior to forgive. From what we read in the New Testament, the early church understood this well:
Acts 7:59-60 While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.
Colossians 3:12-13Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
I want to make it clear what we are being commanded to do when God tells us to forgive. He is not asking us to forget the wrongs against us. Stephen is a great example of remembering exactly what evil was being done to him as he offered forgiveness towards them in His heart. When we forgive someone, we are setting them free from the burden of “owing us.” We aren’t forgetting what they’ve done, but we’re choosing to view them through the eyes of grace that God has given us through the understanding of His Gospel and the Holy Spirit living in us. Instead of holding their wrongs against them, forgiveness is choosing to cover it with love.
The Colossians 3 passage that we just read, as well as the introductory verse of Ephesians 4:32, helps us understand that forgiveness is to be offered out of kindness and compassion. The second greatest commandment that our Lord gave us was to “love our neighbors as ourselves,” and showing kindness and compassion to others by extending forgiveness is a great way to practice this biblical love.
Again, I understand that there are some of you who have been hurt beyond belief. The idea of forgiving that person may really seem impossible to you. And offering that forgiveness will be hard! But as I’ve expressed throughout this series on application, I will remind you again that your God does not ask you to do anything that He will not enable you to do by His power. He is faithful and good to give us what we ask for when we seek to bring glory to Him in our obedience.
I want to end this post with a challenge to you—if you are struggling to forgive, reach out to a friend, mentor, or pastor. Ask for guidance on how the Scriptures we discussed today apply to your life and situation. This newsletter is not meant to be exhaustive, but rather to give you a hunger for digging deeper into God’s truth and how to live it out in your life and context. Don’t be afraid to wrestle with how to forgive, and don’t do it alone.
Thank you as always for taking the time to support this newsletter by listening or reading, and thank you especially for sticking with me through this series on applying common commands from the Bible. It’s been an encouragement and challenge for my own heart, and I pray the same for you. If there are ever any questions or topics you’d like to see answered or discussed in Speaking Truth, please respond to this email, post a comment, or reach out to me directly. I’m looking forward to sharing a new topic with you in the coming weeks, but until then I pray you keep pursuing God and His Word more each day. Have a happy Easter!
Thanks for reading Speaking Truth! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and episodes.
